


Killing Time

by Hermaline75



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Anal Sex, Arranged Marriage, Assassination Attempt(s), Bottom Thor, But I was asked to tag it, Falling In Love, Fluff, Hate to Love, Intersex Loki, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Oral Sex, Smut, Switching, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, for one chapter out of 31
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-03
Updated: 2015-07-04
Packaged: 2018-04-02 16:26:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 31
Words: 33,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4066723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hermaline75/pseuds/Hermaline75
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Since the day he was born, Loki had been promised in marriage to the heir of Asgard.</p><p>Since the day of bethrothal, he had been prepared and trained for his great purpose.</p><p>The murder of Thor Odinson.</p><p>No matter how nice and handsome and kindly and charming and thoughtful and arousing and...</p><p>Oops...</p><p>(Based on <a href="http://kingloptr.tumblr.com/post/120272687335/want-a-semi-humorous-fic-where-thor-and-loki-are">this prompt</a> by KingLoptr.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Marriage

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KingLoptr (Aestridr)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aestridr/gifts).



> WIP WIP WIP...
> 
> Loved the idea and wanted to write something for it. I expect this to update every few days depending on how quickly I can write. This is not my usual way of working so please bear with me.

_Thrust, parry, stab, slice..._

Loki twirled and twisted, dispatching shade after shade, barely breaking a sweat.

_Maim, slit, rip, gut..._

All his life, he'd been waiting for this day. Born a runt, there should have been no hope for him. But the king of another realm had seen potential in him as a peace bargain and had petitioned for their houses to be united through marriage.

And then his own parents had seen the use of his small but lithe frame, the lean muscles waiting to be honed and trained. Where so many others had failed, he would succeed and regain the glory of their realm. Not merely would he reclaim the Casket, but the land entire would be his.

Despite their infrequent meetings, having not seen each other since their late teens, he devoured rumours and news insatiably and knew everything there was to know about Thor Odinson. His future spouse. His future victim.

Thor liked his company lively and convivial. He liked to overindulge in all things, food, drink, fighting, sex. Especially the last. Loki had spent hours reading about the predilictions of the Aesir people. How they made love in a variety of positions and their strange anatomy. His new husband had no womb. He would be expected to bear their children himself.

Not that Thor would have the chance to impregnate him. He would not allow his body to be sullied so.

Thor liked enthusiasm in all things. Loki had trained to charm him, to bewitch him. He'd never see the threat coming.

For a long time, Loki had liked to dream about killing the Odinson. Faced with the reality, he was having trouble choosing a method. He would poison him perhaps, watch as his face turned blue as his own. He could strangle him in his sleep, throw him from the palace walls, try just a little too hard in a spar and spill his blood upon the ground.

And then he would weep and scream and play the grieving widow. None would suspect him.

A dagger flew from each of his hands, hitting the wall hard enough to embed when Laufey opened the door.

"Loki," he said, opening his huge arms to envelop his comparitively tiny child. "Come. They are ready to prepare you."

His heart beat hard in his chest as he was carefully washed by three servants, every inch of his skin cleansed by their large but gentle hands, even his intimate places, his hair plaited with blue ribbons to match his skin. Powder almost made him choke as they blew it onto him, drying and perfuming his skin. The clothes, sent from Asgard, seemed very strange to him, dark and embroidered in gold with symbols of Odin's house. Like they were laying a claim on him. 

Laufey looked at him with tears in his eyes when he appeared ready to leave, almost floating in the long material.

"Oh, Loki. My little Loki..."

"We knew this day would come. It is my destiny. I am ready."

"You worked so hard. I can't believe... Oh, my child. Make me proud."

Loki took his huge fingers in his palms as best he could.

"I will. For Jotunheim, I will fulfil my role. Asgard will be mine."

He had to travel alone. They sent a servant to take his things, merely a few small trunks. It would be better to dress in the manner of Asgardians if he was to lead them one day, so he was leaving all but the finest of his garments.

Landing in the observatory of Asgard, slightly nauseous from the unusual travel arrangement, he was met by his future mother-in-law and a stoic figure. Heimdall, he knew from previous visits, the watcher. He saw everything except the private chambers of the royal family. If Loki was to kill Thor anywhere outside, he would have to make it seem unquestionably accidental. And he would have to hide the animosity he would undoubtedly feel towards the Odinson. No matter. He had trained for this all his life.

Frigga welcomed him warmly, taking his hands.

"Loki, it's a great joy to see you."

He smiled effortlessly, admiring the jewels stitched into her clothes and the smooth shine of her hair, the decorative but functionless armour that revealed her status as a former shieldmaiden.

"Where is Thor?" he asked. "I have missed him these long years."

She laughed.

"He has been anticipating this day also. Our tradition dictates that he awaits your arrival in the hall. But we do not need to rush. Would you perhaps like to rest with me a moment? Calm your nerves before the ceremony?"

"Thank you, but no. I am eager to be joined with Thor. This day of peace has been planned all our lives. And I want to start our new life together as soon as possible."

She suspected nothing, that much was clear. He could see her becoming an ally. Surely she would comfort him in his grief and insist on his rights after Thor's demise as consort. She could be vitally useful.

The citadel had been decked out in banners and flowers, celebrating a royal wedding. Loki wondered how Thor's funeral would look. How did mourning look in Asgard? He didn't know. Hopefully whatever colour they favoured would suit him. After all, he would be wearing it for a while.

Frigga took him to the throne room, leaving him to walk between two large crowds of cheering citizens. He held himself proud but accessible, smiling and bowing in response to shouts of welcome and luck. They loved him already it seemed, despite his Jotun appearance.

And then he looked forward and met the eyes of Thor.

His obsession and focus, finally before him, smiling almost shyly, eyes dancing with excitement and golden hair shining as brightly as his armour.

Loki demurely lowered his gaze as they drew level, carefully keeping his smile gracious and tentative.

"Hello," Thor said, voice low and warm. "It is good to see you. You look well."

"As do you. I am glad to be here. I have been waiting for this for a long time."

Thor's smile grew wide and Loki fought the urge to roll his eyes. He was still a simpleton, clearly. Killing him would be easy.

The ceremony was strange to him, but he knew every beat and when the moment came that Thor was pulling him into their first kiss, it seemed that no time had passed at all.

It started soft, but Loki didn't want to seem in any way unsure about their union, either to the watching crowd or his new husband, and so coaxed him deeper, opening his mouth and letting Thor massage his tongue with his own.

Hmm.

Well, perhaps he could have had worse things to go through than that. He could live with having to kiss Thor a few more times before completing his mission.

The wedding night loomed. It would be quite the opportunity for an unfortunate incident.


	2. Consummation

He would strangle Thor, he decided. In the marriage bed, when he least suspected it. Surely it wouldn't be difficult to get Thor on his back and get his hands around his neck.

The meal itself was pleasant enough, though Thor was overattentive in an irritating way. They were gifted many beautiful things for their life together and thanked each craftsman graciously. Presents improved matters immensely.

It seemed that his glass was never empty, his plate always full. Even as he started to feel stuffed, Thor was trying make him try something new, eager for him to taste everything possible.

And it gave Loki an idea for how he could speed things along.

"Will you feed me, husband?"

Thor seemed a little taken aback, blinking for a second, but then he dutifully scooped up a generous forkful of berries and cream, holding it out carefully.

The moan was practised, choreographed. He had rehearsed it over and over, making it seem natural and spontaneous. He let his tongue slip out, making sure Thor saw it curl around the fork, intentionally getting a smudge at the corner of his mouth.

"You... You have a little..." Thor said.

Loki tilted his head, inviting Thor to wipe him clean, noting how his eyes flicked to his lips before meeting his gaze.

"Shall we, er... That is, Loki, my husband, would you like to retire?"

"Oh, yes, Thor. I would like that very much."

He tried his best to ignore the cheers and whoops of encouragement that followed them out of the dining hall.

"I'm sorry," Thor said. "They are crude. But they mean well."

"Don't worry. I'm glad to be alone with you. I was concerned there might be a public bedding ceremony. I read a reference to such practices once."

"Oh, we haven't done that in years. Not since my grandfather's time. And we do not have to do anything at all. That is, if you would prefer to wait, I would understand. We are new to each other after all."

Loki nudged him playfully.

"You mean to rob me of the pleasures of my wedding night?"

"No, I merely mean to give you options just in case you..."

Loki shut him up with another kiss as they entered the rooms they were supposed to share. He needed to seduce Thor, clearly. The route to a man's trust was through his libido.

Fortunately, as Thor's hands roamed possessively over his flesh, not dipping beneath his clothing yet, but promising to do so soon, it seemed that this would not be a difficult task.

"Will you undress for me?" Loki asked quietly, wondering if he ought to play the nervous virgin, but deciding against it. Thor would surely want a passionate bedmate, not a frightened one.

Thor was very efficient, removing his armour and clothing at Loki's command.

"What now?" he asked teasingly, cock beginning to visibly harden under Loki's gaze. "I await your whim."

"Lie on the bed. And watch me."

No-one had ever known Loki intimately, but he had practised enough by himself and read enough of sex to understand what was expected of him. Years of twisting his body into strange positions and becoming used to the fill of his own fingers had led to this. He turned his back on Thor, shrugging off his gown and hearing a gasp at the sight. His hair was next, letting down his tresses methodically and carefully, shaking them out before looking sultrily over his shoulder to where Thor was watching, rapt, cock fully hard now and standing proud from his body.

Loki turned, revealing all, the plains of his chest and his long legs, firm stomach muscles and carefully trimmed body hair. He knew he was beautiful. It had taken a lot of work and upkeep. The expression he'd managed to evoke on his new husband's face made it worth it. His appearance was a weapon, yet another tool in his arsenal. 

He prowled towards Thor, as though ravenous for his flesh, crawling up his body and making no pretense of not being in control. This didn't seem to be off-putting for Thor. Quite the opposite in fact. Loki found himself being touched, gently but firmly, large, warm hands running everywhere, soft lips pressing insistently to his and...

He was wet. He could feel it and no doubt Thor could too, a telltale sign of unwitting arousal. He hadn't anticipated this. He hadn't expected to want...

Then again, Thor was handsome and strong, his body very pleasing. Surely he could enjoy this flesh before dispatching it. Surely he deserved it for all his dedication and determination.

As he climaxed, perhaps. Yes. He would make Thor choke as he spilled, let him realise in his last moments that he had just made love with his murderer.

"You are glorious," Thor murmured. "Truly. May I...? Shall we...?"

"Yes," Loki breathed, slightly too honestly as he reached back to grip Thor's cock and sink down upon it.

Oh, that was... Oh, _Norns..._

He was gasping and panting, Thor rubbing his legs comfortingly.

"Is it too much?" he asked.

"No, no... No, I'm fine, merely... Merely full."

Thor smiled up at him warmly and Loki's heart did something unexpected and strange. He felt...grateful that Thor was not being brutal with him. Glad to be in control here.

He shrugged it off and began to move, rolling his hips in the best imitation he could of the techniques he had read about and seen in pictures. Thor certainly seemed to enjoy it, moaning out, and Loki found his body responding to these sounds, his arousal growing ever stronger.

And then Thor was reaching for him, one hand gripping his hip and the other taking his cock, spreading his slick around the length and beginning to stroke, his firm hands so different to his own but so good...

"Ah! Ah, Thor, yes..."

"Yes?"

"A-ah!"

He couldn't help it, this just felt too wonderful. His body was betraying him, his carefully trained and honed muscles turned over to pleasure, wanting more, moving with sinuous desperation, doing whatever felt good to him, whatever made that glorious sensation increase, more, _more, yes, yes_...

"Mm, Loki... I can't believe how beautiful you are."

His mind snapped back into focus hearing Thor speak, remembering his goal and lunging forwards to wrap his hands around Thor's neck, making him gasp in surprise. 

Loki pressed his thumbs downwards, seeking Thor's windpipe, feeling his cock twitch within him as his air was cut off. He was vicious, slamming his hips forwards and back, getting so, so close, wanting to come as he completed his mission, completion and _completion_ , both...

Without missing a single stroke along his prick, Thor used his other hand to dislodge Loki's grasp effortlessly, holding his two wrists still and slamming upwards until Loki cried out and came, his body clamping down around Thor's cock and feeling it as he was filled, flooded with spend.

And then Thor was kissing him, warm and loving and definitely alive, his cock softeninh and slipping out.

"I didn't know," Thor murmured. "I did not expect you to be so rough. Oh, Loki, you are truly a creature sent from my dreams..."

Wait, _what?_

"I'm sorry to have ended your game early, but your grip had become a little tight. It was hard for me to breathe, love. But I'm sure we will learn each other's desires and limits soon enough. Anything you wish to try, just ask. I'm willing to attempt most acts. How wonderful that we both have a taste for such things."

Loki suddenly felt sick. Not only had Thor thwarted his assassination attempt, he had enjoyed it. He thought it some kind of... of passion play. What monsters these Aesir were, truly, to mistake murder for love.

And now he was leaking Thor's seed from his body. He had taken Thor into himself, and he had...

He had enjoyed it. He had taken great pleasure from it.

This was not the plan, was not the mission. He could not allow himself to be distracted so. This physical pleasure was a sign of weakness. It had to be.

He would kill Odinson in the morning, smother him or stab him as he slept, punish him for daring to be his lover.

And especially for daring to be good at it.


	3. Morning

Loki woke, aching pleasantly, as though following a day of hard training. He stretched and yawned, wondering briefly why his ceiling had changed.

Wait...

He sat up with a gasp, only to find himself alone. Thor was gone. No doubt boasting to those wretched Asgardians of how his Jotun spouse had proved himself a wanton, writhing thing, full of dark desires and ready to spread his legs with the least prompting.

He sighed, his head in his hands. And now Thor was out there, in the open, not harmlessly lying here as a lamb to be slaughtered.

With nothing else to do, Loki got up, finding a room in which he could wash himself, and piles of clothing clearly made for him. None of it was his preferred colours. They'd given him mostly reds and blues. Thor's colours. Or maybe they were supposed to match his eyes and skin.

Choosing a blue tunic and grey breeches, he took the time to brush back his tangled hair, noting how the grooming tools left for him featured an L and T entwined, clearly a gift. He couldn't help noting how well they looked, how handsome the design was, and then couldn't help but feel guilt roll through him at the thought.

He was supposed to complete his mission, kill Thor, and take Asgard for the glory of Jotunheim. There was no time to admire such objects. They would all be his afterwards anyway, symbols of his triumph.

Thinking to eat, he retraced his steps to the hall, only to be informed that Frigga requested his company for breakfast.

This was something. Getting to know her was part of his plan, figuring that she would know her son better than anyone and be a valuable friend should anyone question the circumstances of Thor's death. She had power over Odin himself, or at least great influence and importance in the Asgardian court. He should take this opportunity to charm her.

She was waiting for him, smiling warmly from where she sat on the balcony of her private sitting room. There was an intimate table set, small cups of fragrant tea and sweet fruit laid out with bread and cheese and preserves.

"Good morning," she said. "I trust this day finds you well."

"Very well, thank you. Though I would have been better still to have woken by my husband's side. I found myself quite alone this morning and was much distressed. I hope Thor is not displeased with me for any reason."

Perhaps he was layering on this act of love-struck newlywed too thickly, but Frigga merely sipped her drink and smiled at him.

"It is in Thor's habit to wake early and train. He will have left you to sleep. I'm sure that once you are finished here you will easily find him down in the yard. But please, tell me of your parents. We so rarely get news."

He spent some time falteringly telling her that his parents were well, his younger siblings growing fast, and Jotunheim itself still rebuilding after the war. Part of his mask must have slipped, he felt, for she grasped his hand and apologised profusely for the injuries suffered by his homeland.

"For too long, our realms have been forced into conflict by old grudges," she said. "It is my greatest wish that you and Thor will break this, and will forge new peace together."

All those years practising smiles before the mirror were certainly paying off. He was the very image of sincerity as he echoed her sentiments and excused himself to go and find his husband in order to continue building their relationship and cultivate their understanding of one another.

Finding Thor was indeed easy. He was in the centre of all things, typical in his arrogance. Loki paused in the gateway to watch.

Perhaps Thor's reputation as an excellent fighter was not entirely unwarranted. He was certainly training hard, easily shrugging off the efforts of lesser warriors. And he moved with a sort of rough ease. Nothing to Loki's own skills, of course, but passable.

He had been standing there for some time before someone nudged Thor to alert him to his spouse's presence. Loki wasn't sure what his heart was doing when he saw Thor's eyes light up on seeing him.

"Do you fight?" a voice to his left asked, the man offering him a staff.

"Indeed. But I wouldn't want to interrupt."

"You wouldn't be. It's about time that someone knocked Thor down. Care to try?"

Loki weighed the staff in his hands and thought about injuries. Hitting Thor's head would not do, too obvious. But his body...

Internal rupture. Organ bruises. Inner bleeding. An accident...

Strangulation was too obvious. But this was just right. Surely his earlier failure was no failure at all. This was better.

He approached Thor, stepping into his personal space without hesitation, smiling up at him, playfully teasing him and ensuring that everyone saw their fond bantering. There was no threat here. He was utterly besotted with his new husband, that was the message he wanted to convey.

"I will not go easy on you, Thor."

Thor laughed, the oaf that he was, a warm and pleasant full-body laugh.

"Oh, you won't? Then I will have to repay you in kind, sweetling. What will you give me if I win?"

He was almost pressing their foreheads together, returning the joking aggression.

"Hmm," Loki said, tapping a finger faux-thoughtfully against his own lips, pleased to see Thor's gaze flick to it. "If you win, I will give you leave to do whatever you wish with me this night."

Thor's pupils visibly widened. He was smitten, and so easily too.

"I offer you the same wager," he murmured, brushing their lips together.

Loki imagined stabbing Thor through on his own bed in an attempt to stop thinking about the sight that lay beneath his clothes.

"Hey!" a voice yelled from the sidelines. "We expected a sparring match, not a smooching session!"

Thor shrugged apologetically and stepped away, waiting for their fight to begin.

Loki smiled pleasantly at him, twirling the staff in his hands. Not his first choice of weapon, but good enough.

He made the first move, bringing his arm around in a wide berth, aiming for Thor's chest.

The block made his joints ache. Was that his momentum or Thor's? Snarling, he swung again, met by yet another parry. Three more blows, all blocked. Thor was on the defensive. He had to draw him out, make him vulnerable.

Loki delibarately swung wide, revealing his side to be hit, knowing that Thor would lunge and his stomach would be undefended and begging to be struck hard and fast.

Loki's legs were suddenly swept from under him, making him fall to the ground with an undignified grunt.

And then Thor was upon him, straddling his hips and using the length of his staff to push Loki's chest down, pinning him.

"Do you yield?" he asked, lips quirked in a smile.

He deserved to have his fingers slowly snapped one by one for such a dirty trick as that. But he had won. There was no denying it.

"I suppose I must."

Thor kissed him, still pinned to the floor, while around them the Asgardians cheered their prince on. His lips were warm and plush, feeling pleasant in a way that made Loki furious with himself.

He let Thor haul him to his feet afterwards, hiding his rage and making note of a few faces. People who shouted particularly explicit suggestions for Thor's evening.

He would have their eyes plucked out when he was king.


	4. Evening

"I'm sorry," Thor said as they left the training yard.

"Why? For beating me?" Loki shot back.

"Not that. I'm sorry for the behavior of those warriors. They should not say such things about you. I can see that it makes you uncomfortable. If you wish, I could have them punished."

As much as he would love to see those men in the stocks for daring to even look at him, they were part of the army and therefore important to win over in preparation for his rule. Now was not the time to provoke grudges.

"No need for a scene. I'm sure if you talk to them in private, they will realise their error."

Thor smiled and offered his arm to escort Loki to a light lunch.

"What plans do you have for this afternoon?" he asked. "If I may, I would love to spend it with you."

He could just say no. Could just tell Thor that he wished to be alone. But if Thor wished to be by his side then that was clearly the best place for him.

"I thought to visit the library. I believe it is much bigger than the one in Jotunheim."

"I am not sure. It is large, sure enough. And if that is where you would like to go, then I will go there too."

In fact, Loki had planned to consult Asgardian books on poison as surely they would know more about their own weaknesses and vulnerabilities than his people did.

Instead he chose a random epic from the shelves and read it softly aloud, letting Thor rest his head in his lap. They had a small alcove of calm all to themselves, the librarians leaving them to it.

Thor clearly fell asleep at one point, and Loki couldn't help but laugh and stroke his hair when he jerked awake, snorting.

"Why, husband, I fear you will be too exhausted to carry out your threat from earlier. I expected to be ravished this night. Must I sleep untouched?"

The chance would be a fine thing, he thought. Forced himself to think. Tried to ignore the parts of his body that wanted more of Thor's touch, more and more forever.

"You are wrong," Thor said. "I am napping for exactly that reason. I intend to make you see stars this night, love."

"Ooh. You're going to take me on a moonlit stroll, is that it?"

Thor chuckled, gazing up at him.

"It was not my initial plan, but it is an excellent one. I will take you out to the edge of the realm, where the great waters flow out only to fall again as rain, where my ancestors made their final journeys into eternity. It sounds sad, but it is a beautiful place, especially when the sky is clear and dark and nebulas may be seen as great glowing clouds."

It did sound beautiful. Mainly because Thor had just said there was a drop off the edge of the world. A little slip, a trip, that would be all it took and Thor would tumble off into oblivion.

He schooled his features into those of wonder.

"Oh, yes. I would love to see this place. When?"

"It is best at night. We will go after dinner. Please, keep reading."

"You were not following the tale."

"Perhaps not avidly, but your voice is so beautiful that I long to hear more."

Loki blinked a little. His voice? No-one had ever told him to refine his voice or that the Aesir liked certain tones. Ought he have learned to sing, trained himself up like a little bird to chirrup and peep?

And his voice was nothing special. Certainly it was nothing to the rich tones of Thor's own or the contralto warmth of Frigga's. What could he mean?

"Are you all right?" Thor asked, stroking his side gently. "You were far away for a moment there."

"Yes, I'm fine. It's just...no-one has ever expressed a particular fondness for my voice before. I was wondering what you meant. What is it about my way of speaking that you like?"

"Well... You speak very clearly. There is no rasping or harshness to your words. They ring like bells. And you modulate so wonderfully. Your speech is like music, all the more special because it is natural to you with no forced or trained restraint. And the pitch of it seems to resonate within my bones, like a gentle warmth spreading through me. I just love hearing it. It feels new and familiar at the same time."

Loki knew that his mouth had dropped open. That was not what he had expected at all. That was almost sweet, charming... This was not how Thor should be, articulate like this.

"I can't wait to hear you cry out my name tonight, sweetling."

That was more like it. Thor should be brutish and clumsy and crude and not speak to him so. He would not cry out Thor's name in pleasure, not ever again.

Even if he had to share his bed again, he would be strong and keep his mind steady, and not allow himself to fall into sensation. Any noises he made would be false and rehearsed. And if all went well, he wouldn't need to anyway.

He ate quickly at dinner, eager to be outside, close to the edge, but irritatingly Thor kept him away from the water.

"It's slippery. I would hate for you to fall."

"I'm sure it will be fine."

He couldn't pull away. Thor wrapped an arm around his waist and sat them down, chest to back, resting his chin on Loki's shoulder.

A lot of tripping he'd be doing from down here... And after this he would have to return to their rooms and let Thor touch him again, he would be subjected to that humiliating, hateful, blinding pleasure that felt better than anything he had previously experienced and...

What was happening to him?

"Do you see it?" Thor was asking beside his ear, pointing at a distant constellation.

"Which one?"

"The bright one just there. That's the star that Mjölnir comes from. Of course, it really burnt out long ago. The light we see is from years and years past, but only reaching Asgard now. Sometimes, when I'm feeling lost or afraid, I like to look at it. To remind myself that we are all stardust in the beginning and the end. It keeps me humble."

Loki pitched his teasing tone just right.

"I doubt one such as you could ever be humble."

Thor let out a small laugh, kissing the side of Loki's neck.

"It is a steep learning curve, I admit, but I am trying. And I think the stars help. It is difficult to look up at them, so many lands stretching out forever, and not feel your own smallness. But I like that feeling sometimes. When everything feels big and impossible, it's nice to get some perspective."

Thor lay back, easing Loki down on top of him to continue gazing upwards. But Loki was troubled. What was he talking about? Where did all this discussion of life and humility come from? It was confusing and concerning and he didn't know how to respond. He wanted to be back in control _now_ , somewhere he knew what was expected of him.

Well...

"Thor?" he murmured, linking their fingers together.

"Yes?"

"Take me to bed."


	5. Distraction

Thor was on him as soon as the door to their chambers closed, sweeping his hair to the side to continue his infuriating neck kisses. For some quite inexplicable reason they made Loki's knees tremble, but he determinedly kept it out of his voice.

"So, what do you intend to do to me? Anything you wish gives many options."

Thor let out a pleased rumble.

"Well, to begin with, I'm going to get you out of these clothes..."

Loki obediently raised his arms, letting Thor tug the tunic off over his head and toed off his boots.

Thor dropped to his knees to peel off the breeches, looking upwards with amusement in his eyes.

"Do you like having me kneeling?" he asked teasingly.

Loki didn't think before responding, too distracted by how Thor's warm hands were running up and down his bare thighs.

"Mmm... It's where you ought to be."

His momentary panic at having let that out was quickly shattered when Thor grinned at him.

"My thoughts exactly. And I think you'll like this even better."

Well, what did that mean? He wanted to be on his knees? He wanted Loki to be above hi... Ah...

"Oh... Oh, Thor..."

He had read, time and again, that Asgardians with the same genitals were not to pleasure one another. It was taboo and forbidden, treated with scorn and contempt. Obviously the people of Jotunheim, where everyone was the same, could not easily understand this idea.

So why, if this was true, was the prince of Asgard currently swallowing down his cock like there was nothing he wanted to do more?

And why did it feel so very, very good? Why was he skilled at this?

Thor was humming in response to his moans, pleased by his reactions, and that in turn made it better still. His tongue was doing something wicked, little flicks to the head and circles and tracing veins...

Despite himself, Loki whined when Thor drew back, even with one large hand continuing to stroke him.

"I want you to come down my throat," Thor said softly. "But know that when you do, it will be the first climax of many this night. Can you handle that?"

"Yes," Loki heard himself say. "Yes, yes..."

Another grin before Thor swallowed him down again. Loki ended up leaning on him heavily, unable to properly support himself, moaning and crying out as Thor took him impossibly deep in his throat.

"I'm... Oh, I'm going to... Fuck!"

If he'd been able to think, he might have been embarrassed by the sounds he was making as spilled, yelling mindlessly as Thor drank everything down.

The next thing he knew he was falling boneless into Thor's arms and being carried to the bed.

"That was one," Thor said, climbing on the bed to loom above him, kissing him deeply, letting him taste...

Huh. So that was what that tasted like.

"How... How many more?"

"How many would you like?"

He laughed as Loki stared at the ceiling, eyes wide. He had been prepared to be used and abused by Thor, not given so much pleasure that he couldn't handle any more while the Odinson had not even yet undressed.

"I... I am not sure..."

"Hush," Thor said. "Just three, all right? That was one. Just two more to go. You can do it. Once on my fingers and once on my cock."

How was this happening? How were those words arousing him? He hated Thor, he hated Asgard, he wouldn't...

"Ngh..."

"Please. Let me worship you."

Oh, _Ymir's bones..._

Loki nodded shakily, letting Thor press a kiss to his knuckles before he gently eased his legs apart.

"You're so beautiful," Thor breathed. "And so fortunate too to have both sexes. I have often wondered how it would feel if I had been born differently. If I would like it. How I would pleasure myself alone in my bed..."

Loki shivered as Thor carefully ran the tips of two thick fingers over his folds, already slick with that cursed telltale wetness.

"Next time, I will taste you here. I want to spend hours between your legs, husband. Want to make you come over and over again. Want to fuck you with my fingers..."

"Do it," Loki panted, his whole body alight with arousal. "Oh, do it, do it, finger me."

He sighed as Thor slid his index finger in ever so slowly. It was a steady but maddening glide, pumping in and out but not pressing in the right place, not enough...

"Don't tease me," he pouted. "Do it properly."

"So demanding," Thor said, adding a second finger and starting to rub upwards, making Loki keen.

Was he doing this right? No doubt Thor wanted a show, some kind of slutty display. If only his mind would clear enough to focus on anything other than the divine stroking of his inner walls. The pressure grew firmer, faster, a nice hard fingering exactly as he used to try to give himself, only for his wrist to grow tired before climax most of the time.

"Does this feel good?" Thor asked, grunting slightly from the effort. "Will you come again, stain that beautiful skin for me?"

Loki moaned in response, angling his hips upwards to force those fingers where he needed them, rutting upwards as Thor wrapped his other hand around his cock.

"Yes, beautiful. Spill for me. Let me see it."

A few more vigorous plunges deep inside and Loki screamed again, cock spurting, giving distinctly weaker pulses this time, but his cunt clamped down hard around Thor's digits.

He moaned as Thor sucked his juices from them, saying that he tasted delicious.

Having Thor suddenly naked and climbing atop him, though, made his tired body concerned.

"No more," he said. "I'm sorry. I am spent."

"Are you sure? No more climaxes this night for my sweet tyrant? Will you leave your slave without the privilege of making love to you? Have I truly pleased you enough or do you hunger for more?"

Well...perhaps one more couldn't hurt.

"Be gentle?"

Thor pulled him into the softest of kisses.

"Of course."

Perhaps if his body had not been so buzzing with sensitivity, he would not have been so affected. Each careful roll of Thor's hips sparked sensation in him, slowly but surely nudging him closer to another climax.

"More," he found himself whispering. "More... Ah, yes, like that."

Thor's hands were firm on his skin, lovingly holding his hips in place, speeding up just a little to make Loki moan.

And then a hand was around his cock once more, almost too soon, making him hiss even as he pressed towards it.

"Once more," Thor said. "Let go for me one more time."

Eyes screwed shut, mouth open, Loki's entire world had shrunk to just the feelings between his legs. He was so very, very close, he just needed something...

"Ah! Ah, Loki..."

Thor cried out sharply as he spilled with Loki not far behind, a little mortified by his body's reaction but too exhausted to really care or to return Thor's kisses with any kind of finesse.

"I knew you could do it," Thor said, with something like pride in his voice.

Loki forced a slight smile.

"Don't leave me here alone tomorrow," he whispered, throat unexpectedly hoarse from crying out. "Let me wake next to you."

Thor reached out and stroked his face, far too intimate and soft a gesture for Loki's liking now that he was post-orgasm and back in his right mind.

He would kill Thor in the morning.

For sure this time.


	6. Communication

He was troubled, deeply so, in the moments after waking.

Thor had not been at all how he was supposed to be last night. He had called himself Loki's slave and chosen to kneel and begged permission to worship his body. It was not right.

And yet... And yet, Loki had always been obeying him, granting that permission and climaxing when commanded. Who was truly in control here? He couldn't tell. Why were Asgardian relationships so confusing?

A treacherous part of him stirred at the idea of having Thor as his slave. He could collar and chain him, have him nude at all times, snap his fingers to summon the attentions of that hot mouth...

No! It was not enough to shackle Thor. He had to die. A lifetime of preparation would not go to waste just because his body was readily led astray by pleasure. His mind and heart would not be so easily swayed.

Thor had kept his promise and was slumbering beside him, the barest hint of a smug smile upon his lips. He was hateful, Loki thought, picking up one of the pillows and pressing it over his face to cut off his air.

His arms tensed as he expected struggling, muffled screaming. Anything. But Thor was completely still. Would he really die so quietly? The golden prince of Asgard would go out without a fight?

He was almost knocked over when another pillow hit him in the side of the head. Without him noting it, Thor had sneakily reached out and taken his other one and was now giving him a sound beating with it. Loki fought back as best he could, shrieking out, but soon was merely blocking blows and not getting in any of his own.

"Do you yield?" Thor asked, the barrage pausing but the pillow raised threateningly.

"Yes. Yes, I yield. No more."

Thor flopped back and hauled Loki up to his chest, making him lie fully on top.

"Little minx," he admonished. "Couldn't wait for me to wake?"

He was brushing their noses together and seemed somehow amused by the whole thing.

"What do you desire this morning, then, Loki?"

_For you to lie still and die quietly and without fuss._

"You've sucked cock before," he blurted instead.

And where had _that_ come from? It didn't matter. He didn't care what Thor had done in the past, didn't care where his mouth had or hadn't been. He knew that Thor enjoyed carnal pleasure. He didn't care.

"I confess, that was not my first time performing that particular act. Are you surprised?"

"Well... Yes? I read... I was led to believe that such acts were forbidden between men on Asgard."

"Oh, I see. Well, until recently that was true, and certainly some still cling to the old ways. But times change. You may find that many of the things you read about Asgard are no longer true. Or indeed were never true at all."

Loki frowned, annoyed and concerned that his research could be useless. But Thor seemed to take his expression a different way.

"You must think me terribly ignorant, for I know very little of Jotunheim. Or at least, I perhaps do not trust the impression of it given by Asgardian chroniclers. Tell me of it. I would hear the truth."

Few people had ever accused Loki of providing that before, but he could try, he supposed.

"I am the eldest of three children of Laufey and Farbauti, rulers of Jotunheim. The court is led by Laufey and he is supported by various nobles, heads of the army and so on, who in turn provide law enforcement and supply routes throughout the realm."

"Is there much lawlessness?"

"These days, yes. There is a great deal of unrest. Many blame our family for the... Er... For how life has been of late."

"Bacause of the war," Thor said simply. "You can say it. I know that my people - my father - inflicted some terrible hardships upon your land. Don't feel you have to give a watered-down account on my behalf."

Loki sighed.

"The loss of the war led to another conflict, a civil war immediately afterwards. It is thought that my... my size is due to the stress inflicted on my parents when I was in the womb. You would have been a chubby toddler when I was born, no doubt. But in any case, my family proved triumphant and retained the throne. And then I was bethrothed to you before I knew my own name."

He rolled off Thor to lie on his back, feeling an unexpected flood of bitter feelings. His life had never been his own. His destiny had always been decided for him. It all seemed so terribly unfair.

"So you are the heir of Jotunheim?"

"No. No, it was agreed that by marrying you I gave up my rights. They didn't want Asgard claiming Jotunheim through me or our children. The honour falls to the second child, Helblindi."

"How is he? I do not think we have met."

"He's tall."

Thor laughed and Loki found himself smiling. It wouldn't do to think too much about the injustice of having been literally and figuratively overlooked his whole life, not now. Soon he would be sole ruler of a far greater prize. Let Helblindi come begging to him to plead for the Casket's power.

"You know, speaking if it, I still remember the first time I saw you," Thor said softly. "When I was, as you say, barely more than a chubby toddler. And I remember my mother taking me to look into an enormous basket made of white bark and inside was a very large blanket with the tiniest little blue head emerging from under it. And she told me that this was my future spouse."

As far as Loki was concerned, Thor had been a constant. He could not remember not having met him. He couldn't help but be a little intrigued to hear about their early encounters.

"And what did you think of your child bride?"

A slight chuckle.

"I'm not sure I understood what they meant. But I was very fascinated and I wanted to say hello so they told me to sit very still and then I could hold you. I tried so hard to be gentle and not awaken you, but still, as they placed you in my arms, you opened those enormous red eyes and looked up at me so intelligently..."

"And already you felt a connection between us, no doubt?"

"Well, then you burst into tears."

Loki snorted. Even as an infant, he had excellent instincts, it seemed.

"And so I cried too," Thor continued. "I was afraid that I had hurt you somehow even though I was hushed and they took you away to nurse and they showed me that you were completely unharmed. I can't believe you are the same little soul. Then again, I can't believe I am either. It seems several lifetimes ago."

He lay quietly after that, occasionally stroking Loki's arm.

"Would you like to unpack your things today?" he asked. "I think you would feel more at home with some of your own possessions around."

"I feel well enough at home in your bed."

It was a line, which for the first time Thor didn't seem to believe.

"Of course, I will give you privacy, if you wish it. Your things are your own to organise, after all."

Loki nodded vaguely. He should probably speak to Laufey today anyway.

"Go and train, husband. In your absence, I shall arrange the rooms whatever way I please."

Thor smiled at him, leaning over to kiss him before rolling away and out of bed in one smooth action, leaving Loki to think about a pink little boy holding a blue baby and how their fates had been decided by those around them so long ago.


	7. Mirror

In truth, he didn't have much to unpack. A few skins and pelts of beasts unseen in Asgard, but they could stay tucked away in their box until the winter. He and Thor could sit outside on the balcony wrapped in them, smelling the first breaths of snow on the breeze and drinking spiced mead and...

Wait.

No.

No, Thor would be dead by winter. Of course. 

All the more space for him.

There was storage room for his clothes, mostly filled with his new Asgardian outfits, though Loki dressed in something from home today so as not to distress his parents by seeming too quickly assimilated when they saw him. Somehow excuses of trying to fit in didn't seem like they'd be accepted.

At the bottom of the largest trunk was a mirror, wrapped securely in soft leather. The finest mages in Jotunheim had made it and an identical one for Laufey. Made from two polished scales belonging to the same serpent and with frames made of its bones, they held a connection which allowed communication.

Making sure the door was locked, Loki sat on the bed to unwrap it, muttering the incantation to activate the spell and nervously watching as his own reflection warped and became an image of his parents' private chambers.

"Hello?" he tried. "Anyone there?"

The image shifted horribly, shakily, as the other mirror was picked up and set down heavily on a table, an unflattering angle on Laufey's face coming into view.

"Is it done? Is he dead?"

"What? N-no. No, not yet."

A sigh.

"Loki, the longer you wait, the greater the likelihood of exposure."

"It's not my fault. I have tried several times already..."

"You have _failed_ several times already. Why do you contact us if it is not done? You put yourself in danger."

"I thought... I don't know. I wanted to report that I am well, I suppose."

"Report when it is done. It is your destiny."

"I know."

"Say it, Loki."

"It is my destiny."

"Good. But do it soon. Stupid though he is, you will not be able to quell the suspicions of old One-Eye for long. No doubt he is on the look out constantly. Is that why you have not yet succeeded, because Odin watches over his son too closely?"

Loki huffed.

"I have not even met the Allfather since coming here."

The image shifted again as Laufey raised his mirror to eye-level, making Loki feel a little ill with how it shook and moved.

"Odin Borrson missed his heir's wedding? Do you realise what this means? He must be in his sleep. It is the perfect time to strike. Kill Thor and then only the mother stands to defend the realm. Your time is limited. Do it soon and I will send in the troops."

"Troops? What troops? The plan is that I, as consort, claim the throne in my dead husband's name. You speak of invasion."

Laufey laughed at him.

"You expected to take the throne so easily? You planned to simply ask for it? No, we will march on Asgard while Thor's corpse is yet warm, saying we are afraid for your safety, and then take the crown by force. This was always the plan."

"But... But you didn't tell me that."

"Well... We thought you would become difficult and not go through with the marriage if you learned the throne was not for you. You always were terribly selfish."

It stung. Loki felt tears in his eyes as realisation dawned. Of course. Of course it was not for him. He was merely the tool with which they would strike at the heart of Asgard. Laufey would rule both realms and then Helblindi after him. They never meant for him to possess any realms at all... 

"Don't cry, my child. You will be remembered forever as the great viper, the clever one who gained us this victory. Songs will be written about your deeds."

"I don't... I don't _want_ to be remembered for gaining victory. I don't want songs. I want to live it. It is my destiny, you always said!"

"Killing Thor is your destiny. Anything else was just your assumption. Besides, are you not having fun? The bruise on your neck would suggest that whatever else you've failed to do to Thor, at least the marital bed is cordial enough."

Loki's hand flew to his throat, flushing violet, feeling the raised skin where Thor must have sucked a mark last night.

"Of course," Laufey continued. "I assume you are not enjoying yourself too much. I would hate to have to send one of your brothers after you to make sure the mission is completed..."

"No," Loki said quickly. "No, please. I understand. Killing Thor is my destiny and I will fulfill it within a year."

A raised eyebrow.

"A year?"

"Yes. The longer I wait before acting, the less likely suspicion will fall on me, the more Thor and Frigga will trust me, the more the people will want to keep me safe and allow you to enter the realm unhindered after his death."

Laufey seemed to give this some thought.

"One year," he agreed. "And we march."

His image vanished and Loki hurriedly covered the mirror again with trembling hands.

Not trembling with fear. Trembling with _rage_.

How dare they do this to him?

They were wrong. He knew his destiny. He would rule Asgard. All he had to do was wait for Odin to awaken, and surely then any attack would be foolhardy. He could even inform Odin. Yes, reveal a plot, turn on his treacherous family, show them what they gained by betraying him.

And then he could kill Thor and take his place, as planned, with no suspicion falling on him, having proved his loyalty to Asgard. An unfortunate, but necessary sacrifice, for if Thor lived, he would never rule. He would be relegated to birthing the royal heirs all his life. No, Thor still had to die.

The original scheme would go ahead, even if he had to do it all himself. Let them try to gain back the Casket when he was Allfather. See how much mercy they could beg from him then. Any songs would be written celebrating what he did for himself. He would be remembered as the one who re-wrote his own fate.

And woe to Jotunheim. Woe to the house of Laufey.


	8. Plans

Fretting and worrying about his family would get him precisely nowhere. He had to continue his efforts here, concentrate on gaining trust. First of all, he had to find out how long before Odin awakened.

Oh, if his younger self had known how much he would one day long for an audience with the All-killer, how he would have been horrified.

He was too warm suddenly, suffocating in his skin, and retreated into the wash room for a cool bath.

Last night's activities had left him sweaty and a little achey, his traditional clothes abandoned as he slipped into the water.

A year. One year to prepare himself. But then again, he had felt quite the same way one year ago when the marriage date was set...

Yes, and how successful that preparation had been.

Loki almost didn't notice his own tears. He felt as though he had often cried throughout his life. It was not discouraged by his parents; they'd thought Thor might like it, or at least take it for weakness, make him less likely to see the threat.

It made sense for his family to betray him. He was not exactly well liked in Jotunheim. His betrothal, his _claiming_ by the house of Odin was well known, along with his interest in Asgardian culture. Of course the assassination plot was not common knowledge and so Loki had grown up being called a whore and a deserter, a half-Aesir already with his small stature, good for nothing but being a pretty bedwarmer for the Odinson.

_"Why me?" he would ask, time and time again._

_"It is your destiny."_

He would show them. Show them all.

It might have been hours before he heard the main door unlock.

Thor.

Of course he would have a key to his own chambers. He could have walked in at any moment.

Had he put the mirror away?

Loki was leaping from the water when Thor called out his name, barely thinking to grab a towel before he burst back into the bedroom, dripping wet, to find Thor holding up the polished scale and admiring it.

"Put that down! Please. I must have forgotten to pack it away."

Thor obeyed, if a little reluctantly, setting it carefully on the bed.

"It's a very beautiful thing. Are you sure you wouldn't want it hung?"

In theory, Laufey could look back through the mirror at any time. The last thing Loki wanted was to be seen with Thor in a compromising position, especially if he was seen to be having too much fun.

"No," he said, covering it over. "No, it's a very delicate thing and must not be exposed to too much light. I was merely checking that it was not damaged on the journey. You know how clumsy servants can be."

He wrapped it up again, placing it at the very bottom of the pelts chest, covering it even further with his furs. No unwelcome eyes here.

"Did you want something?"

Thor was looking a little curiously at him, but seemed to disregard it.

"Yes. I'm here with a warning. There's to be a dance tomorrow night, celebrating the start of harvest, and since we are so recently wed, we are to have the dubious honour of taking the floor first. So... Essentially, I've been sent to summon you and make you come and suffer through a dance lesson with me."

Dance. Asgardian dance. He'd read the theory, but no-one would deign to help him figure out the steps in practical terms by agreeing to try them with him. And the books he'd read were probably centuries out of date and full of old-fashioned routines.

Why did Frost Giants even have books on the subject? Had they once learned them, come to this hall and made the same steps, towering over everyone? He could not imagine his parents doing anything other than the fast, vibrant dances of home, nothing like the slow, measured steps the Asgardians favoured.

"Yes. Fine. I will just...get dressed."

Thor let him retreat to the safety of the washroom, leaving a trail of damp footprints, but not without obviously getting a good look at what skin he had on show.

Part of him wanted to hide. Part of him wanted to drop the towel and encourage his husband to pleasure him, take away the ache in his heart for a while.

If Thor was going to be alive until the Allfather awoke, there would be time for that later. But how much time? How much longer would he have this company?

"Thor?" he called through the door, tugging his clothes into place. "This dance. Will your father be there? I'm anxious to meet him."

There was a faint clatter. Loki pushed the door aside curiously to find that Thor had dropped the little tray of hairbrushes.

"How clumsy I am," he said vaguely. "I had thought to ask if I might brush your hair."

Loki shrugged his agreement and sat before the mirror to let Thor start working the tangles out.

"You didn't answer my question, husband. Is there something wrong?"

He watched Thor's expression carefully in their reflection, how his brow furrowed and his mouth grew tight.

"Of course, you don't have to tell me, if it is a private matter..."

Thor sighed, meeting his gaze and squeezing his shoulder fondly.

"No," he said. "Sorry. I would keep no secrets from you. My father is in his sleep to replenish his power and my mother concerns herself with the running of the realm."

"And how long will he slumber?"

He tried to keep his tone light and merely curious. He was interested, not dangerous.

Thor looked away, working the largest brush through Loki's tresses very methodically, making them shine with care.

"We had expected him to awaken before the marriage. He lives, but I grow concerned. It has been a long time."

Loki was also concerned. If the Allfather never awoke, his plan would be useless and his family would take everything from him, drag him back to Jotunheim to live out his days powerless and alone.

He stood suddenly, spinning to press his lips briefly to Thor's.

"All will be well, Thor. I'm sure of it."

He couldn't be less sure if he tried.


	9. Dance

It turned out that Loki had quite the unexpected talent at performing the kind of dances popular in Asgard. He put it down to his intense footwork training for sparring. Certainly, the tutor seemed satisfied.

For the official dance, Thor asked him to dress in something traditional from his homeland and he duly selected one of his best outfits, a long kilt of shimmering gold threads, the finest spun silk from the glowing worms that lived in the darkest caves of Jotunheim. He opened his box of jewels and wove a delicate net of white stones into his hair and carefully fastened a chain of shining black feathers that draped over his shoulders and chest around his neck.

"Ought I cover the rest of my torso?" he asked Thor once satisfied with his appearance. "I would hate to cause offence by my nakedness."

Thor himself was looking particularly splendid, he thought, the harsh lines of his leather body armour softened by a kind of wrap-around cape in the deepest of reds. The ensemble was only added to by his expression at seeing Loki, an almost hungry look on his face.

"No," he said, stepping close to touch. "No, you look perfect as you are."

"Thor! You will ruffle my feathers."

"I would do more than that if we had time..."

Loki huffed at him, but couldn't keep the smile from his lips. He had finalised his plan for Thor's demise. He would wait until the Allfather awoke, and bludgeon Thor before summoning aid from home as he had agreed to do. When the Jotun troops arrived, he would scream so loudly that all the realms would hear him, pin Thor's murder on Laufey and see him dead for daring to doublecross him.

And in the meantime, he would take his pleasure with Thor and his apparently insatiable desires. He couldn't help but feel flattered by Thor's attentions, so constant and passionate since their wedding. It was just lust. A harmless indulgence. And it would be a shame not to partake of something so freely offered and so pleasing, he thought.

It was similarly pleasing to be twirling around the hall with Thor's warm hand pressed to the bare skin of his waist. One two three, one two three, spin and step...

"The people are so jealous of me," Loki murmured. "Getting to be in your arms."

Thor glanced over to their audience, as though noticing them for the first time.

"No. They are envious of me, for I am dancing with the sky itself."

"The sky?"

"Is it not obvious? Your skin is the shade of the heavens at the height of summer. Your legs are wrapped in fabric made from pure sunlight. Birds, the monarchs of the air, made your necklace. And your hair holds the stars themselves, picked out delicately against midlight black."

Oh, he thought himself so sophisticated...

"And my eyes," Loki teased. "What of them? Where in the sky are there two red orbs?"

Thor visibly floundered while he laughed.

"Ah, it is a trick question," he said, nodding sagely. "For nowhere in all the realms could there be something as beautiful as those."

Damn Thor and damn his words...

"You should not try to charm me so. I will suspect that you care only for my body if you persist in complimenting my appearance."

He'd meant it as a jest, but Thor's expression became very serious.

"I hope you don't really think so. I value you as a companion first and a lover second. Flesh is easy; I want us to truly form a connection of minds and heart as well as body. I hope... I long for the day when you are fully open with me."

Loki frowned at him, stumbling a little.

"But I am open with you. I have nothing to hide from you, husband."

A soft smile, almost wistful.

"How I wish I understood you. It is as though you read from an invisible script. But when you think I can't see, there is great sadness in your face."

"There is not. I am very happy."

He could feel his heart palpitating, his breath coming quicker and his eyes wide. The music slowed to an end and the people applauded dutifully. Thor leant forward to speak quietly into Loki's ear.

"You don't have to tell me your pains if you don't wish to. But I want to help, to earn your trust, if I can. And now I'm afraid you must kiss me for the crowd."

It was the least comfortable he'd ever been while kissing Thor. He hurriedly excused himself afterwards, saying he needed air and almost running to be outside. The sun was setting, casting a dim, orange glow over everything. Loki's chest heaved as he tried to calm down.

He wasn't sad. He wasn't. Thor was imagining that he could see his emotions, wanting to rescue him no doubt. Wanting to satisfy his hero complex. Yes. It said more about Thor than it did about him.

He was leaning against one of the palace walls, letting the breeze wash over him, when he heard a gentle cough.

He hurriedly wiped a slight misting from his eyes as Frigga came into view, the rich gold of her gown surpassing even his own outfit.

"It was terribly warm in that hall," she said. "I find myself similarly in need of some fresh air."

Loki just managed a small thankful smile.

"How, er... How fares your husband?"

"Well. He sleeps. We expect him to awaken soon."

Loki nodded vaguely, unable to think of anything more to say. They stood in companionable silence for a while, watching the sky turn from gold to pink.

"Thor is not the most subtle of creatures," Frigga said. "Has he upset you?"

"No. No, he has been nothing but kind to me."

"Hmm. And has his kindness been a little...overwhelming?"

Loki sagged.

"He speaks to me of... Of love and companionship and trust and... It seems too soon. It has been days. He cannot have fallen in love so fast, not truly."

She nodded, pursing her lips.

"I understand your concern. Except, of course, that it has not been days. You've been engaged your whole lives."

"Yes, and hardly seen each other. I can recall maybe five meetings. And we were but children then."

"You're quite right. But it doesn't change the fact that he was utterly taken with you from a young age. He used to cry when you had to go away, wanting to go with you or to make you stay. And then he would badger me for weeks afterwards asking when you would come back."

If that is true, Loki thought, then why has he lain with others? Why did he not wait for me?

Frigga took his silence in her stride and patted his shoulder, careful not to damage his feathers.

"He has an idea of your life together in his mind," she said calmly. "But he does not want to cause you distress. Talk with him. Let him know how hard it is for you to adapt to such sudden intimacy. He will be patient. I'm sure of it. You can come back and eat whenever you're ready."

Loki stayed outside until the sky had started to darken slightly before stepping back to the hall.

Thor didn't mention his absence. He had, however, kept a plate piled high with little delicacies aside, holding it out like a peace offering.

He smiled with undisguised joy when Loki took it from him and sat down, allowing their legs to align side by side.


	10. Truths

"I didn't mean to make you unhappy," Thor mumbled as they left to retire to bed, the first thing he had said in hours. "I'm very sorry."

Loki considered his next words carefully. He didn't want to put Thor off, but such talk of secrets and emotions had left him a little rattled. He didn't trust himself to speak until they were safely within their chambers again.

"I think we should discuss this in the morning, when we are more awake. But if you would know now, it merely... It seems to me that we do not know each other very well. You speak of love in a way that I am not used to. And then your mother says that you were always enamoured of me, but I am confused by that. And your actions do not seem to suggest it to be so."

"Really? Have I been inattentive or neglectful in some way? Please, tell me what I have or have not done that I may try to fix this."

Loki retreated to the mirror to avoid eye contact, carefully removing his feather chain and beginning the arduous process of untangling his hair gems.

"If you loved me so much," he asked, trying to sound casual. "Then why did you take others to your bed?"

Thor seemed genuinely taken aback by the question.

"I... Truthfully? Because I did not want to get to our wedding night and leave you unsatisfied. As in all things, I wanted to practise. Did you not...know any others intimately?"

"There is none in Jotunheim I could make love with. Not without being torn open."

It was a shock to Thor, clearly. He paced the room.

"But you did not... You weren't nervous. I just assumed..."

"You assumed wrong. Not all virgins are scared."

"Would you... Ought I not be so forward then? Is my desire making you uncomfortable?"

"No!" Loki said, a little too quickly. "No, like you said, flesh is easy. I have no problem with our physical relationship. None at all. Really, can we put this aside until tomorrow? I fear we are too tired for civil discussion."

Thor suddenly loomed behind him in the mirror, grinning.

"Do you like having sex with me, loveling? Is that what you're saying?"

Loki felt himself blush, refusing to meet Thor's eyes.

"Indeed. It's very pleasing."

"Mmm. Would you like to be pleased this night instead of talking over the past?"

"Very much so."

He kept his voice light and distant, haughty almost, finally closing his jewel box with all the stones safely back inside. Thor skimmed a finger down his bare arm, goosebumps rising in its wake.

"How would you like me to please you? Hmm? I await your command."

Loki left him waiting as he slipped out of his kilt, folding it neatly and standing nude before his husband.

"I don't know," he said at length. "As we have established, you are the more knowledgeable in these matters. Show me something new."

Thor paused for a moment and then rushed to the washroom, coming back with a small bottle of oil.

"How about I spread my legs this time? We are yet to try that."

Loki gaped at him, spluttering.

"You would do that? You would let me...?"

"I would let you do almost anything. Besides, it's not as though I gain no pleasure from it."

"So you have tried this before too?"

Thor blinked at him.

"Well... Yes. I knew you had both sexes so I wanted to be proficient with both. To allow as many options as possible."

He looked so sheepish that Loki was tempted to let him off, but he was too into his role now. If Thor wanted orders then he would give them. He moved to the edge of the bed and flopped down upon it, arching his back and thumbing one of his own nipples.

"It won't do," he said. "I asked for something new. Something you have not done before."

And now Thor was definitely having trouble, his face the very picture of frustration as he tried to come up something that would satisfy.

"I can't think of anything."

Loki propped himself up on his elbows.

"Truly? You have performed every sexual act?"

A shrug and Thor was climbing onto the bed with him, still mostly clothed.

"Make suggestions and I will tell you."

"Well, clearly you have fucked both women and men. You have been fucked by them. You have sucked cock and are proficient with your fingers. I assume you have also used your mouth on cunt before?"

"Yes. And I have... I have used my mouth elsewhere too."

"How very thorough of you."

He was trying to think of anything he had seen in some of the more specialised texts about Asgardian sexuality. Although location and position options were endless, he desperately wanted to be Thor's first for something. And he wasn't quite sure why.

"You...enjoyed it when I choked you," he said carefully. "And you keep... You call yourself my slave and you keep asking for instructions. What does this mean? Why do you say such things?"

"I... Well, I... I feel a lot of pressure in my life. You will understand this, being a prince yourself. Sometimes I want to focus very intensely on one task. When we are here together, I want to focus on pleasing you, on satisfying you utterly, serving you. And when you put your hands around my neck, I felt such a jolt of belonging. That here was someone I could truly devote my efforts to. I admit, I would prefer not to be choked again, merely because I fear the bruises would be hard to hide. But... Yes, I suppose I just want to stop thinking about the realm sometimes and focus on one person. I want to focus on you. Remove the pressures and expectations of a whole land to concentrate on my lover. Does that make sense?"

It did. It made a lot of sense. And being the centre of Thor's world did not seem an unpleasant thing.

"So I would be...more important to you than even Asgard?"

"I serve Asgard through duty. I serve you by choice."

He meant it too. There was no hint of falsehood in his voice, none at all.

Loki rolled over until they were lying face to face, looking at his husband critically.

"And have you ever 'served' somebody else? Has another ever been your... What did you call me? Your tyrant?"

"No," Thor admitted. "There has never been another. I would not have wanted there to be. Those others were mere training, preparation. I was promised to you after all. It's you I want to please."

Ooh, that felt good. Special. Unique. He eased Thor down into a kiss.

"That sounds new enough to me."


	11. Meetings

"Mmph... Mmm... Oh, Thor, yes..."

There was water all over the floor. Some of this was just a normal side effect of fucking in the bath, but some of it was Loki deliberately trying to make waves that would splash over the edge.

He was in Thor's lap but facing away from him, rocking back and forth, Thor's hands supporting him at the waist and chest, toying just a little with his nipples and kissing the side of his neck.

It was amazing how quickly Loki had become accustomed and responsive to that little action. A few months ago it had merely been a pleasant sensation. Now even Thor moving his hair to the side to expose his throat could have Loki rubbing his thighs together, already eager to be back in private and in each other's arms.

They had had a long discussion about love and what the marriage meant to them. Thor agreed to step back a little, to allow their emotional fondness to grow organically instead of expecting it to instantly match their bodily passion. In public, they were still as playfully flirtatious as ever, but it remained a mainly physical thing, soft touches and kisses, closeness. Thor was anxious that Loki not feel smothered, so for most of the day he was left alone to do what he wished.

He didn't want to lose his skills or fitness, so often they spent the morning together anyway, training hard until sweat poured from their bodies. His afternoons were generally spent in the peace of the library, reading anything and everything that seemed interesting. With Thor's murder no longer a pressing concern, he had discovered a great love for fiction in place of research. 

And of course, if he felt so inclined, he merely had to find Thor and gently nod his head, and if he possibly could, Thor would leave whatever he was doing to attend to his husband's pleasure.

There had been some questions about pet names and whether or not they were acceptable in their new slow approach to love. Loki had opted to keep them. He liked it when Thor called him such endearances.

"Thor," he had said this day as they finished training. "I am going to go up to our private bath, if you care to join me."

And Thor had grinned and slung an arm around his waist to thumb at the bare skin above the waistband of his trousers.

Which was how they had ended up here, giggling and moaning together, Thor's hand straying down to play with Loki's cock.

"Darling, you are getting water everywhere. I shall have to make you come very soon for the sake of the floor."

"Mmm, but I thought you liked it when things are... Ooh, when things are all wet...and hot..."

Thor growled playfully, thrusting harder and speeding up his pulls, holding Loki in place until he came, shivering and jerking in his arms, moaning as he buried his cock deep inside and spilled.

"Now, wasn't that more fun than lunch?"

"Endlessly. But I must go and grab something to eat. I am to spend the afternoon with my mother and the council, sorting out the winter supplies."

Now this was interesting. He hadn't quite been sure where Thor was on the rare occasions that he wasn't able to find him.

"Could I come with you?" he asked. "I mean...one day it will be you and I dealing with this. I should start learning about the realm and how it functions."

"You don't need to worry about it yet."

"But I want to. Will we not be partners? It will be easier if I know the land. Please, Thor."

"You will find it very dull," Thor warned, but agreed that they could go together, hurriedly cramming bread and cheese into their mouths before scurrying to meet with Frigga. If she was surprised by Loki's presence, she didn't show it.

It was indeed tedious, and Loki almost wished he hadn't begged to attend. But this was part of the running of the realm. It couldn't be all interesting. Sometimes careful inventories of vegetables and grain had to be made and divided.

"It has been a good year," Frigga said. "Though nothing special. Our usual trade with Vanaheim, Nornheim and Alfheim will go ahead without problems. I believe a flood befell the elves this year and drowned some of their fruits, but I am willing to be easy with them. No casualties, thankfully, but still, the land will need time to recover. We shall not leave them hungry."

"Why don't you trade with Jotunheim?" Loki asked in a whisper, not as quietly as he had thought evidently, as some members of the council looked up at him.

"They have always declined our offers," one man said. "So we stopped trying."

Hmm. Loki thought of the benefits that could have been afforded to his people with a little Asgardian grain coming in. The bread and porridge that could be made, how it would have no doubt improved the health of generations.

"I had always... That is, I had assumed that you held some sanctions against us after the war."

"At first," Frigga admitted. "But even after more cordial relations resumed, our deals were always rejected. Presumably we don't produce anything they would want. Which is a great shame for us, both for political and practical reasons."

"I had meant as a purely diplomatic gesture. What do you want from Jotunheim? We do not grow plants as you do, except the fungi and salt flowers of our caves. I believe we import our vegetables and fruits from other realms. And I doubt the Asgardian palate could handle our meats or dairy products. They are quite different to what is served here."

"Blubber," Thor said next to him. "That is what we would trade for. The fat and tallow of your farmed ice creatures."

"Their fat? Why? You can't even eat it. It is a waste product."

"Not to us," Frigga said. "You light your caves with glowing creatures and seidr. We use candles and fires most of the time, for magic users are not so common here, especially not among the wider population. We would import tallow and make such clean-burning candles from it. And so many other items. Soap, leather, medicines, all these industries would make use of it. And it will not be so obvious to you, but within Thor's lifetime, the use of candles themselves has significantly decreased. We just can't spare the resources for them over these other things."

This was bizarre. Asgard was easily the richest of the realms. And yet circumstances meant that they could not even light their buildings properly. 

"It's not so bad now, still in the summer," Thor said. "The sun affords us most of what we need. And we use gold and mirrors to reflect light outwards. There is no shortage of gold here, after all. But medicinal uses take priority. We would rather have salves than light in times of illness."

It was like having a sudden perspective change as all around him, Loki noticed the empty candlesticks and chandeliers, the dark, unlit corners, the windows, clearly newly-built to better let in the light.

When he was king, he would reopen trade, Loki decided. Helblindi would be more reasonable once Laufey was dead. He would listen to the mutual help it would bring. And the halls of Asgard would glitter and shine once more. How the people would celebrate his rise to power.

King Loki. Light bringer.

It had a good sound to it.


	12. Fears

Looking for Thor a few days later - and he did hope his new insatiable nature would stabilise soon - he walked right into Frigga. She seemed distracted and automatically he asked if he could help.

"No," she said. "No, it's nothing to worry about. Are you looking for Thor? He's in with his father. The room is at the end of this corridor."

Loki hesitated.

"I wouldn't want to intrude..."

"I'm sure he won't mind. I'm not quite sure what he does in there. Talks, I suppose. Go to him. I don't believe it's good for him to be this way. He's becoming more and more withdrawn by the day of late."

Was that what was worrying her? Loki had to admit that he had not noted a difference. Thor seemed as convivial as ever, laughing and fighting and generally throwing his all into life. But maybe he was missing something. Frigga would be quicker to notice than he would, certainly. And it was possible that Thor would hide his emotions from his still-new spouse so as not to worry him.

Loki crept along the corridor, quietly opening the door and slipping into the dimly lit room, a single candle encircled by a gold reflector acting as the only light source. He had really started to notice how few candles were. When questioned, Thor had said something about setting a good example in the palace about moderation.

And there was Odin. Loki had vague memories of being scared of him as a child, fleeing from this strange, bearded creature. And then he had been educated about the war and had learned to fear and hate Odin all over again.

Was this old man truly the butcher, the one who had taken the Casket from his father's hands? He seemed so small. Just a grey-haired, frail, sleeping figure.

Thor was sitting with his back to the door, talking, evidently not aware of Loki's presence.

"I don't think I'm good enough, that's all," Thor was saying. "I am so grateful to have mother with me. But she should not have to handle as much responsibility as she does."

Loki considered leaving, just sneaking out as though he'd never been there, but then Thor sighed heavily and he couldn't help approaching.

A hand on his shoulder and Thor glanced around briefly before relaxing into the touch.

"And here is Loki, father. I told you I would bring him soon."

He was speaking as though Odin might reply and Loki was unsure how to proceed.

"Allfather," he tried. "It's good to see you."

Thor reached up to take his hand, squeezing gently.

"It's hard to tell, but sometimes he does hear us. Don't be afraid to talk."

Really, Loki had no idea what to say. But he ought to say something...

"I'm very happy to be here. And I hope you awaken soon, that I might meet you properly."

He meant every word, though not for the reasons he pretended. Thor patted his father's shoulder and stood to leave.

"Your mother is worried," Loki said warily as they left the room. "And you do not seem quite yourself either."

"It's nothing for you to be concerned over."

"If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. But I am your husband. You can rely on me. I want to help."

"You are. You do. I cherish the time we spend together, you know that."

Loki gnawed on his lower lip nervously. If Thor was worried then he was worried too. He couldn't help it. If Thor was weighed down with cares, then something was deeply wrong with the universe.

"Take a walk with me," he said, seizing Thor's arm. "Just in the gardens. The fresh air will help clear your head."

Thor sighed again, but allowed himself to be steered outside.

They were the palace gardens, Loki understood, but really they were Frigga's. Certainly, her balcony looked over them. The little inedible apples were blushing red, almost ready to fall to the soft earth below, the sunlight dappled against Thor's face and hair. Loki had learned to love walking here early on, especially when Frigga spied him and waved, taking tea with some noble or other.

She seemed to drink a lot of tea. He wondered if it carried some sort of social significance.

He could physically feel Thor relaxing, the muscles of his arm losing their tension. He wasn't sure if this was due to him or the environment or both, but it was certainly what he wanted.

They had taken two turns around the ornamental orchard before Thor started speaking in a low voice.

"The healers... They're saying that my father shows none of the normal signs that he is coming out of his sleep. He lives, and he has awoken suddenly before, but... They want me to rule fully in the meantime."

"And you... You don't want to?"

"I'm scared, Loki. I don't feel ready. And we are newly married. I don't want to neglect you."

"But you cannot neglect the realm either."

Thor sighed heavily for the third time in too few minutes and Loki slipped a hand into his, squeezing tight to try to ground him.

"You're not alone in this. Or at least you don't have to be. You have your mother to help guide you, the advice of the council. And you have me. Let me be by your side to aid you."

Thor looked at him carefully, almost as though unsure that he knew what he offered.

"You don't need to decide right this instant," Loki said. "But consider what I have said. I want to support you"

Thor smiled, but it seemed a little forced.

"You're too good to me."

"Oh, now that I won't allow to pass by unchallenged. I demand that we retreat to our chambers before dinner that I can rule over you for a little while."

This time the smile was genuine.


	13. Care

"What do you intend for me today, then?" Thor asked, wrapping his arms loosely around Loki from behind and nuzzling his hair.

"I told you," Loki said. "You always take such good care of me and so I am going to return the favour."

It was almost strange to undress Thor. Normally he did it himself, quite often after reducing Loki to a happy blaze of nerve-endings with fingers or tongue. He seemed to do it so fast too. One minute clothed, the next naked and crawling between Loki's legs or lying down to be ridden.

Loki took it slow, lavishing attention on nipples and collarbone, skimming his fingers over Thor's stomach and arms to make him shiver, shoving his breeches down and stepping back as Thor slipped out of them, his cock already hard and flushed.

"Where's your oil?" Loki asked, trying to keep the breathlessness from his voice.

"It's... It's in the washroom. I'll get it..."

"No. No, you get comfortable. Let me."

He took a few deep breaths when he was out of sight. He remembered stumbling upon a drawing once in his adolescence of two Asgardian men copulating for the pleasure of their mistress, or something to that effect. The inscription wasn't very clear. He just remembered looking at it with such hope, for here were Asgardians _like him_ , built the way he was. They had to be, for they seemed to be making love as Jotuns did.

How his eyes had widened when he realised that that was no cunt being filled.

He'd slammed the book shut and blushed for the rest of the day. The rest of the week.

But since Thor had suggested it those months ago, Loki had found himself wondering more and more how it would feel to be with him in that way. He hadn't read any descriptions of it. Although he was tempted to seek an Asgardian text on the matter, he didn't want a librarian to see him reading such things. No doubt whispers already abounded about his insatiable nature.

And yes, once or twice, unable to find his husband of an afternoon, maybe he had come up to their rooms and pleasured himself thinking about how Thor would part his legs and moan for him.

He found the bottle of oil, shrugging off his clothes as an afterthought, and returned to find Thor idly stroking his cock, a little pearl of pre-spend gathering at the head. It was tempting just to look and he filed away the idea of commanding Thor to make himself come on demand for another time.

"You will have to guide me," he said, climbing onto the bed. "I've not attempted this before."

"I could do it..."

"No. You're going to lie still and let me take care of you, as agreed. Besides, I want to learn. I might have to do this again some time."

Thor closed his eyes and sighed happily, clearly imagining the act they were about to start. He spread his legs and allowed Loki to crawl between them, looking with concern at the tightly furled ring of muscle that awaited him. How was this going to work? Surely he could never fit in there.

"You need to use the oil to make me wet," Thor said. "And stretch me with your fingers wide enough to let you in. So just... Go gently. Slowly. One finger at a time."

No, this would never work. Loki covered his index finger in oil, circling the tip of it around Thor's entrance before attempting to push in.

To his great surprise, Thor's body yielded, letting him slip his finger most of the way inside. It was so hot within, and so tight. He understood why the stretching was needed.

"All right, just... Carefully start moving in and out. Don't worry if I grunt, it's just...been a while, that's all. You won't hurt me. I'll tell you when to add another."

It was difficult. There was a lot of resistance and Loki sloshed more oil around to try to make the slide easier.

"Is this truly pleasurable for you?" he asked. "I expected...more evidence of enjoyment."

Thor chuckled.

"This is mere preparation. If I told you the secret now, you would have me mewling and drenched in my own seed before you got anywhere near me."

"Perhaps I like that image."

"Hmm... Perhaps I like the idea of holding out until you come inside me."

Loki's cock twitched suddenly at that, neglected though it was. He was going to mark Thor from the inside. He wanted to be doing that now, right now...

"Add another. And push apart inside, like this."

Carefully following Thor's directives, Loki soon had three fingers buried inside his husband, both of them panting with desire.

"All right," Thor gasped. "I'll show you. Push upwards and rub very gently."

Loki twisted his hand around. Perhaps internally Thor had something like the more sensitive part of his cunt, maybe that was how it worked...

He nearly panicked when Thor suddenly cried out, stopping immediately.

"You feel it?" Thor asked.

A little more cautious movement and he thought he could. There was something almost like a nub there, and touching it made Thor keen and his cock leak.

"One day, I'll let you milk me dry like this," he gasped. "And fuck me when I can't speak anymore. But today I'm ready. Slick up your cock."

Loki's hands were trembling with excitement as he crawled forwards, lining himself up with Thor's entrance and starting to push and push...

Thor let out a long sigh, locking his legs around Loki's waist to hold him still a moment before giving the nod that he was ready.

Oh, and how wonderful it was. Everything was hot and engulfing and slickened by the oil. No doubt his inexperience was obvious, but Loki's mind was far past that, only knowing the tight grip of Thor's body.

"It's good, isn't it?" Thor breathed.

Loki let out a little huffed laugh in response. He tried to start a rhythm, but his hips kept stuttering.

"Hey, go slow. Go slow..."

And that was easier, letting him finally achieve something close to steady thrusts. Thor's moans were intoxicating, his body clenching and shuddering and feeling even better than he could have possibly imagined.

"Fuck, Thor, I'm..."

This was too fast. Thor would never come if he climaxed this soon. But Thor was putting a hand to his neck and smiling up at him.

"Don't worry. Spill. I want to feel it. Fill me up, husband."

Loki gasped and panted at his words, letting instinct take over, his body shaking and jerking as he chased his pleasure, watching as Thor's face contorted in ecstasy, his hand rapidly working his cock.

It felt like no time at all and he was finished, pumping seed into Thor with a cry, enjoying the way it made Thor moan to feel it.

"Stay in me," Thor said urgently. "I want you inside when I come."

His softened cock was sensitive to the clenching of Thor's body, but he held himself up and watched hungrily as Thor brought himself off. Distantly he realised this was the first time he had actually seen Thor's cock at the moment of orgasm.

The way it twitched and pulsed was beautiful to him in a way he couldn't think about enough before Thor was dragging him down to lay kisses all over his face.

"I would have you beside me all of my days, Loki."

"Don't worry. You will."


	14. Tree

There was mild opposition to Thor beginning to reign at this early time. This became evident when he announced his intention to be interim ruler while his father yet slept.

"After all," he said. "I'll have to do it one day. I should begin learning now."

"But her majesty was doing a fine job, my prince," one of the council members said. "Why don't you let her continue?"

"I do not 'let' my noble mother do anything. She should not have the weight of the realm pushing upon her now that I am able to handle it. Of course, should I choose to ask for her advice, I'm sure she would not deny me. Likewise, as my advisors, I will expect you to offer me suggestions and reasoning. But I am ready to take the responsibility of my position now."

There was a certain amount of grumbling. Then another elderly man spoke up.

"And your...spouse? Why is he here?"

Loki stiffened in his chair, Thor reaching across to lay a hand on his where he gripped the arm of it without even looking.

"Loki, my husband, is likewise here to help me. He is of my rank and will offer insight beyond what we may consider in our dark and dusty rooms."

They didn't seem to like that much either, but they could do nothing about it. Thor was crown prince, Loki his consort, and Frigga had no intention of holding her son's hand as if he were a child. It was decided.

Trade was going ahead as planned, including a gentle pay-back scheme for Alfheim, who were unable to provide their usual fruit supplies.

"We have already stored much of it for winter," the report came. "And this has given very cordial relations with the elves, to the point that they intend to send a diplomatic envoy to instruct upon techniques to preserve freshness. Apparently not all realms were as kind."

Loki was not an idiot. He saw the heavy glance laid upon him and understood it. Jotunheim would not accept late payment from the elves. Jotunheim would rather spoil inter-realm relations than give leniency.

Except no, not Jotunheim. Laufey. Laufey would rather let his people go hungry and malnourished than trade with 'the enemy'. He would rather attack and attack and attack again than try to form a mutually achievable peace.

He'd felt many things towards his parent over the years; love and trust, anger, resentment, disdain...

But this was the first time he had truly felt disappointment. For the stubbornness that helped no-one. For the clinging to old grudges at the expense of the lives of ordinary people. It was stupid.

He was quiet during the rest of the meeting, and as they left, and Thor noticed immediately.

"Garden?" he suggested.

The apples were falling now, their sour flesh splitting open and spilling juice into the earth.

Thor was content to walk in silence until Loki was ready to speak, using his own technique from a few days ago back at him.

"I wish I had better standing with my father," Loki said. "That I might help to reopen trade. There are many products here that would improve health and quality of life immensely on Jotunheim, even before the benefits to this realm. I dread the day the council ask about it and I have to admit that my family don't especially care for me and my word would carry no weight with them."

There was shock practically radiating from Thor. Then again, with family like Frigga, maybe it was difficult to imagine a poor relationship.

"I admit..." Thor said at length. "There were times when we were young that I...suspected you might not be happy at home."

Loki glanced at him in surprise.

"Like when?"

"Well, our first kiss for a start."

"But we... We didn't, not until our wedding day."

"Not properly, no."

And now Loki was intrigued again.

"When was this?" he asked. "How old were we?"

"Oh, young. Children. I think it was our second or third meeting. I was a boisterous and loud boy, as you can imagine, always getting into trouble. And I was sat down in my mother's rooms and told very carefully that my betrothed was coming to visit and I must be quiet and good for he was little and I might scare him."

"And was I? Scared of you?"

"I think you were wary of everything. It must have been frightening to be taken to another realm so young. I remember that your... Your mother, is that the right word?"

"It will do. Farbauti, you mean."

"Yes, Farbauti was bent almost double to give you a finger to hold onto, your little legs scurrying along. And they just pushed us together and told me to take you outside and look after you."

"And what, I admitted outright that I was unhappy?"

It didn't seem likely.

"No. You just seemed very sad. And I thought it might be because you were shy and so I tried to distract you with the gardens and happy talk about the future and at some point I mentioned kissing and you said that you didn't know what that meant. Could I show you, you asked."

"Wait," Loki said. "I think I do remember this. We hid behind a tree."

"Yes. I had only a very vague idea, having only seen adults do it, but I knew it was a private thing and I was afraid of our parents seeing us. So I took you down behind the biggest tree and gave you the briefest of pecks. I don't think it was even on the lips."

The tree was still there. Loki took Thor's hand firmly and started to head towards it.

"No, it was on my cheek. I remember thinking what an odd thing it was to do. But I liked it. Liked the way it felt. How innocent we were then. I remember I realised that for the first time I was away from my parents. It should have scared me, but it didn't. For the first time, I felt as though I existed as myself, alone. My own person."

"You didn't want to come out of our hiding place. I got a real sense that this was somehow important to you. So we sat together and I talked a lot of nonsense and you fell asleep leaning on me and I against the tree. I was in such trouble when they found us, napping outside. I wasn't supposed to go out of sight of the balcony. Certainly not with my little fiancé with me. But I wasn't sorry that we had broken the rules, not ever. Not when it had made you happy and comfortable."

Loki had pulled him behind the tree, leaning up against it and dragging him close.

"Show me what kissing is, husband," he teased, running a hand through Thor's hair.

It seemed Thor was only too happy to oblige, their mouths meeting in a slick glide of lips and tongue, little moans of pleasure sneaking out.

"I'm so glad you're here with me," Thor said after a while, pulling back to say it.

"Yes," Loki heard himself say. "I'm glad you're with me too."

It was something of a shock for him to realise that he wasn't just parroting. He meant it, as he gripped Thor's shoulders tightly, never wanting to let him go, feeling like the luckiest being in all the realms.

And in a second, that feeling had turned to sickness. He turned his face away from Thor's, his lips falling on his cheek.

"I need to bathe," he said softly, barely more than a breath.

"Shall I come with you?"

"No," and now he was squirming out of Thor's grasp. "No, I would be alone."

He tried not to think about the hurt and confusion in his husband's eyes as he practically ran to the palace.


	15. Questions

His hands shook going into the washroom, locking the door behind him.

What was this? This feeling?

His family had warned him of many things, of being taken advantage of, of the cruelties of entitled men, of the suspiciousness of Odin...

No-one had warned him about getting attached.

He had read of love. It had made no sense. Surely there was nothing to be gained from allowing another full access to your heart. Surely only pain, humiliation and vulnerability lay that way.

Did he love Thor? He couldn't even tell. He tried to remember all the symptoms he'd ever read about, all the signs. It really didn't help that so often they were tied up with ideas of sexual lust. He certainly desired Thor, but that was not the same thing.

He leant against the wall for a moment before filling the bath with cold water. He needed clarity and refreshment.

Lying back, he tried to make sense of his tangled thoughts. He hadn't tried to kill Thor, hadn't considered a method to do it even, in months. Had he let himself grow too embedded, too used to him? Then again, his fear of being banished to the birthing room did not seem to be coming to pass. No, Thor wanted him there in the council rooms, by his side. Wanted him there to help.

He'd described Loki as being of equal rank to him merely an hour or two ago.

But that wasn't... That wasn't relevant to what he was trying to work out. He couldn't think. Why couldn't he just _think_? 

Did he love Thor? That was the question. True enough Thor had been kind to him from the start and wanted to cultivate a true relationship and not just a co-existence but...

Was that it? Was believing that Thor might love him clouding his judgment of his own emotions? That was certainly possible. That soft feelings from Thor had evoked false echoes of such feelings in himself.

But what if he really was feeling those emotions, and Thor's sentiments were merely a coincidence? For a start, he had come here with a determination to despise his husband. But since then, having learned more about what his place would be, having been told about his family's betrayal...

Wait.

This could just be a reaction to that. Robbed of the esteem of his parents, pitiful though it was, had he gravitated towards the nearest source of affection? What a rebellion that would be, to fall in love with his target...

His hatred of Thor was not his own. It had been steadily, carefully and deliberately trained into him. He remembered, thinking back on it, the meeting Thor had described behind the tree and why he had been wary in the first place.

_"You must pretend to be Thor's friend," they had said to him. "If you don't, the All-killer will catch you and cook you and we will end up eating you for dinner."_

Stupid stories to frighten a child.

But still, his judgments of Thor had been fixed before he'd been able to properly formulate opinions. Now that he was grown and able to...

Oh, he was going round in circles.

He lay in the water until his skin grew puckered, sighing as he got out.

There was a note waiting on the pillow for him. He hadn't heard anyone come in. And surely only Thor would have dared to approach such a private piece of furniture.

_My mother requests your company for dinner in her private salon. Unless I hear that you would not object to my presence, I will not return to these rooms tonight. I'm sorry for upsetting you. It seems I am not particularly in tune with your emotions and I can only apologise. With love (assuming such words are not offensive), Thor_

Loki flopped onto the bed. It wasn't Thor's fault, and now he'd gotten himself all worked up about it, worrying about what he'd done to make Loki take flight when really he hadn't done anything wrong and...

He hadn't done...

That's right. He hadn't done anything wrong. What happened in the war, the taking of the Casket, that was not Thor's fault. He hadn't even been born.

Why should he die for crimes that were not his?

It felt like a revelation. All his life, the plan to murder the Odinson had been paramount. But none of his fears or suspicions had come to pass. He liked this life, and Thor was part of that.

Thor did not deserve to die.

And if he...loved Thor, and it was a big if, that was a mere bonus.

If.

He sighed to himself, the decision lifting a weight from his shoulders, and dressed in preparation for a private dinner with Frigga.


	16. Frigga

"What have you done to my son?"

Loki panicked. Had some accident befallen Thor since they had parted, some injury that he was going to take the blame for, even though he hadn't so much as touched him?

But then he saw the smile in Frigga's eyes and relaxed. A joke. Well. Asgardians were not exactly known for their sense of humour, after all.

"I merely... How is he?"

"Terribly distressed," Frigga said, gesturing to the empty seat opposite her, a modest array of foods laid out on a low table. "He fears that he has upset you."

"No, he hasn't," Loki said, helping himself. "I just felt a little strange in the garden, that's all. A little dizzy. It's nothing."

"Ah," she said.

And what did that mean? Did she believe that he'd felt sick or had she seen right through him? What did that little sound of understanding mean? What did she think? What explanation had she inferred from his words?

Oh...

Oh, no.

"I'm not pregnant," he insisted. "At least... At least I don't think so."

And yet he had not taken any precautions. He hadn't expected to need to, had expected Thor to be dead before this was a problem. And they had been having a lot of sex... He could practically feel himself blanching at the thought of it.

"Be calm, Loki. You're not pregnant. I know you are not. I prepared the preventative potion myself."

He frowned.

"But I have not taken any..."

"Had you wished to conceive by this stage?"

"No. No, I... No."

"Then I hope you will forgive me if I slipped something into your tea on that first morning. I had hoped to give you it before the ceremony, but no matter. It was still effective. Six months with nothing to worry about."

Loki stared at her. She'd drugged him. Medicated him without telling him. It felt like an incredible breach of trust and he instantly laid down his cutlery.

"What else have you done to me? Is that why I am not myself? You've slipped me some kind of...of love potion to make me quiet and pliant?"

Her smile had not so much as wavered. What kind of woman was this? What sort of witch or sorceress was he up against?

"So you are in love with him?"

Loki gaped and then scowled down at his plate.

"I am not! Or if I am it is only because you've bewitched me to be so."

"I have done nothing of the sort. It may have been centuries ago, but I remember what it was to be young and newly married. If it weren't for me your belly would no doubt already be swollen. And perhaps I ought to have asked first, and for that I apologise, but I have done nothing else to you. You think I would alter the mind of my son's spouse? You think I would build him a marriage of lies?"

"I don't know what you're capable of, Allmother."

She reached out and placed a hand under his chin, tilting his head up until their eyes met.

"Nor do I know what you are capable of, Loki of Jotunheim."

It was a clear challenge and he forced himself to look unflinchingly into her eyes, submit to the scrutiny. His face was porcelain, unmoved and inscrutable.

She knew nothing, he told himself. She could see nothing.

"I find myself sympathising with you," she said softly. "I don't know if you are aware that my own marriage was also arranged."

Of course he knew. He had studied this family after all. But he kept his expression neutral, his face upturned as she drew her hand away.

"I did not love Odin when I was first married. I never expected to. And I remember how frightening it was to realise that my heart had gone away without my knowledge. I remember how afraid I was, how I made up a million excuses for my feelings. How I pushed my husband away to stop the hammering in my breast. Love is terrifying, Loki. I understand what you're going through."

No, she didn't. No-one did. That was the point, that's why it had rattled him so. She had not been sent here to kill Odin. Falling in love was a benefit to her, not a detriment, not a judgment clouder...

"Having said that... I am Thor's mother first. I will not have your wrestling matches with your feelings impacting negatively on him, especially not with him taking responsibility in the council. If you feel you want some time to think things over alone, please tell me now. I know you don't want to hurt him. That's why you and I have to sort out what exactly we plan to do."

He was slipping. He could feel it. His stomach rolled at the thought of Thor's unhappiness, that that unhappiness would be caused by his actions and might poison the views of the council even further against him and...

"No," he said, voice strangely hoarse. "No, I will... I will deal with my feelings without him seeing."

"Will you? I fear that is more easily said than done."

He blinked back the tears that threatened at the corners of his eyes.

"After dinner, I will find Thor and tell him that it was a misunderstanding. I felt sick, that's all. Nothing will change between us while I try to understand myself."

She nodded brusquely.

"I realise that hiding your feelings seems counter to my desire that you be open and honest with my son, but you are at a delicate time in your relationship. Sometimes a little lying helps the truth along and greases the wheels of diplomacy. But you and I know this better than Thor or Odin, don't we?"

He found himself nodding.

"Is this what happens now?" he asked. "You groom me to be the next you?"

"Not groom. What an ugly term. I will advise you, as Thor's grandmother Queen Bestla advised me."

Loki laughed.

"It means the same thing."

Frigga smiled at him.

"Yes, but sounds different. And that's half the secret."

After a moment's pause, he picked up his cutlery once more.


	17. Ideas

Loki's knowledge of magic was very basic, compared to others in Jotunheim anyway. He could do simple things, light his way and make small illusions, but the kind of power used to illuminate the great hall at home and create his magic mirror was beyond him. And from everything he'd read of Asgard, they used magic almost exclusively for healing. Even their entertainment was usually music or dramatic performances rather than the glorious conjured shadow plays that he was used to.

But Frigga used magic extensively it seemed. And she was willing to make him her pupil.

"It is always good to learn new skills," she said, as they ate fruit fresh from Alfheim as a dessert. "And it would allow us some time to be alone together too."

"You mean to monitor me."

"I mean to monitor Thor. There are no doubt many things he will tell his husband and not his mother."

Loki shook his head.

"I am not going to spy on him. His private business is his own and if he chooses to share with me then it remains between us alone."

She laughed suddenly, warm and rippling like a brook.

"Oh, Loki, you think me so controlling. I merely meant that if you had any concerns you could bring them to me in confidence. I certainly have no plans to torture Thor's secrets out of you. Though I admit, I am glad to see you so ready to defend him. But it will be most convenient, do you not think, to learn magic and diplomacy in one?"

"You mean it will be convenient to disguise instruction in duplicity behind a believable façade."

"You are a quick student. Asgard is lucky to have you."

He found himself glowing at the praise.

"Do you really think so?"

"I certainly would not want to be your enemy, let's put it that way."

And he laughed at that. This had been a profitable evening, if a little uncomfortable.

Finding and talking with Thor promised to be less enjoyable. Especially since he was not in the training grounds or the stables or any of his normal haunts.

In desperation, Loki went down to the room where Odin slumbered, but found the old man alone. Impulsively, he sat down by the bedside, eyes glancing over the peaceful figure before him.

"Do you know me?" he asked, wondering if this was a time where the Allfather could hear him. "It's me, Loki. Thor's husband. I... I need you to wake up. There is a great danger to Asgard, and barely seven months before it will be too late... They are coming. You must wake up. Please, wake."

Not so much as a twitch.

And then the door was opening and he heard Thor's voice, asking what he was doing down here.

"Looking for you," he said, forcing a pleasantness into his tone. "I'm sorry that I scared you before. I was briefly unwell. Don't worry, a passing thing and not at all your doing. I'm sorry about the misunderstanding."

Thor smiled, opening his arms for Loki to wrap himself in.

"So I am welcome in our bed tonight?"

"Mm, no. Not welcome. Demanded."

Thor chuckled, nosing the side of Loki's face and down to his neck, the usual frisson rolling through Loki's body at the sensation. And then he dropped to his knees, hands rising to tug at Loki's breeches.

"Not here!" Loki hissed.

"Why not? Are you so restrained as to wait until night falls? I am not."

"But... Your father. Imagine if he wakes and sees us."

"No doubt it would send him right into another sleep. But you are quite correct. We should find a more secluded public spot for me to taste you in."

"Public? Thor, be serious."

He was nearly swept of his feet as Thor stood up and began to steer him out of the room.

"I am being deadly serious, loveling. I would have you before the whole court if I could. Let everyone see my devotion. If you permitted it. Choose a location, tyrant. The stables perhaps for a roll in the hay? The weapons vault? The council chamber?"

A wicked thought grew in Loki's head, taking hold and robbing him of reason.

"Is there anyone using the throne room at present?"

For a moment, he thought he'd overstepped a mark. Thor's mouth dropped open, his eyes wide. But then he grinned.

"Yes. Yes, come on. Let me love you on the seat of power itself."

He banished the guards from the door, mumbling something about practising a speech and not wanting an audience save his husband, hurriedly bolting all the doors from the inside.

Loki found himself ascending the stairs to the great throne, nearly holding his breath. He couldn't believe this was going to happen.

"Well?" Thor said. "Sit down and let me attend to you."

He had dreamt of this moment. His ascension. Sitting in the Allfather's seat. 

Those fantasies had never featured his legs being bared and spread apart or a blond head and a hot mouth settling between them.

Fingers lacing through Thor's hair, he let his head tip back and sensation to overwhelm him, Thor's tongue lapping at his cunt as though drinking nectar from it, little hums sending vibrations through his body.

"Oh... Oh, Thor, yes..."

He found himself undulating, rolling his hips in time with Thor's attention, crying out when two fingers slipped effortlessly into him and Thor's lips closed around his cock.

Why had he ever wanted to rule Asgard when he could rule this?

Moaning out, he rode Thor's hand, frantic and desperate, coming all too soon and sitting half dazed as Thor sucked his fingers clean and clothed him once more.

"You... You haven't come," Loki said pitifully.

"Not yet. To bed, I think. I believe my presence there is demanded."

Loki smiled and willingly let himself be lifted from the throne and carried out. It was nice to be in Thor's arms. And maybe that was no longer merely a physical fact. Maybe now part of it was nice because those beautiful, strong arms belonged to Thor.

They never made it to bed. Loki made Thor hold him up and fuck him against the wall, just to watch his muscles strain.


	18. Time

Weeks became months and the darkness of winter began to fall. The lack of candles was felt strongly now. Fires let out a slight glow, but not enough to read by or do any other kind of detailed work.

Loki noticed a few jealous glances for the light that followed him around, conjured by his magic. But constantly maintaining a spell for so long often left him drained and sleepy. Sometimes he would wake in bed with no recollection of getting there. And more than once he awoke in Thor's arms being carried to their chambers from wherever he had fallen asleep, gentle shushing sending him back into slumber.

On days when he was feeling alert in the evening, he would insist that Thor sit on the balcony with him, wrapped up warmly and drinking something hot and delicious, cuddled up together and talking of every little nothing that crossed their minds as the stars shone above them.

Snow was common in Jotunheim. Its appearance in Asgard was less frequent. But hearing the shrieks of children playing in it and watching Thor trying to catch a falling flake on his tongue with little success made it magical for Loki again, as did the slightly chilled kisses he received when Thor was finally successful.

At the six month anniversary of their marriage, Frigga asked if he wished to drink the preventative tea. He had accepted it gladly. He could not afford to be pregnant when the troops arrived from Jotunheim.

She was a little taken aback when he asked about the use of magic as a weapon. She did not practise such techniques, but agreed it was possible. Her suspicion was a little difficult to throw off, but he thought he had managed to convince her that he was merely curious with regard to its potential for sparring.

There were books on the subject in the library. He read them voraciously when he could.

Council meetings and public hearings took up much of Thor's day. The room seemed extremely bright compared to the rest of the palace, but good light was necessary to pour over the news of the realm, which supply trains needed additional aid, which areas of the land needed cared for in the winter, where illness had broken out and how severely.

Loki had accepted three duties with regard to the council. He would assist in the meetings, sure enough, sitting by Thor's side to weigh in on debates, but that task was nothing to keeping an eye on its members. It seemed that they were becoming used to Thor's rule, and their grumbling had almost ceased completely. Loki was keen to keep it that way. Any talk of dissent should be nipped in the bud before it had a chance to reach Thor's ears.

His third duty was distracting Thor when it all got too much, and this was by far the most pleasant.

He would listen to Thor's concerns and ideas, aiding where he could, but there was often a point where he would realise they had talked too long, that Thor needed to have his mind taken elsewhere. He would softly press a finger to Thor's lips and watch as he invariably took it into his mouth, instantly becoming calmer.

Thor loved to have his hole played with, and Loki kept oil even in his pockets so that if his husband needed release during the day, he was prepared to tend to his needs. Of course, sometimes that meant he found himself lifted onto the nearest flat surface and given a good, hard pounding. The throne room wasn't the only place they had used for illicit activities. It was amazing they hadn't been caught.

Loki was happy. It was a strange experience. He didn't even know what it was at first. But there was nothing really for him to want for here. He had power and influence, he was learning new things daily, he had access to one of the greatest libraries in the universe, and he had a loving husband with an endless desire to please him and a willingness to listen and take his advice.

His life was never supposed to be like this. And given the choice, he would probably have chosen something different. But he could not imagine anything better.

And still the Allfather slept. Thor visited him regularly, and sometimes Loki went with him. There was never a response, but it seemed to bring comfort.

Recently, Loki had considered warning Thor about the oncoming invasion. But part of him still had hope that Odin would wake and the aggression would be cancelled. So he remained quiet, waiting. And he hadn't contacted his family again.

He didn't miss them. This had caused him a little distress when he first realised it, but he quickly rationalised it. They had betrayed him. He should have no guilt in rejecting the loneliness and cloistered existence they offered him in favour of his pleasant life with Thor.

He'd been in Asgard nine months almost to the day when a servant found him in the library, sitting beneath his condured light to read, and shakily told him that there was a problem in his chambers.

One of his boxes seemed to be calling his name.


	19. Decision

"Oh, that," he said to the servant girl. "It's nothing to worry about. Just a harmless little enchantment. It's supposed to remind me of appointments. I must have forgotten to deactivate it. Don't worry his majesty. I will just go and sort it out."

She bowed to him and he smiled politely, trying not to give away the panic in his breast.

He practically ran up the stairs, glad of the new spells Frigga had taught him the seal and sound-proof his room. Indeed, there was a voice calling his name. Very, very angrily.

Digging through his pelts, his shaking hands came upon the mirror, the furious voice growing louder and louder.

"You will expose me," he said desperately. "Hush!"

Laufey looked furiously up at him.

"You have failed, Loki," he said. "You deserve to be caught, little traitor."

Loki huffed.

"I said a year. The opportunity has not yet arisen..."

"You think we hear nothing? You think no news reaches us from other realms and that we do not hear of Crown Prince Thor's rule and the Jotun harlot who sits by his side and drags him aside for sex at all hours of the day?"

Loki felt the blood rise to his face.

"It's an act, that's all. It's the easiest way to gain his trust and get him alone. I will be killing him very soon, I swear..."

"We march today, Loki. If you value your life, the Odinson will fall before we arrive."

And now the blood was leaving his face, his whole head in fact. 

"You'll ruin everything," he tries, panicking. "It's important that I assert myself as a figure of authority and..."

"You will not rule, Loki. Why don't you understand this? You will kill Thor, or you will face the consequences."

Loki took a deep breath.

"No."

"What did you say?"

"No. I won't do it. I... I love him. I will not kill him."

Laufey snarled.

"Typical. I knew this wouldn't work. I should never have listened to Farbauti. He was always too soft on you. I knew you were weak. That you'd succumb. You are nothing but a slave to your body, mistaking being the Odinson's whore for love. Kill him, Loki. It is your destiny."

"No! I won't do it."

"It is your _destiny_..."

"No!"

He brought the scale down against the corner of the chest, smashing it to pieces.

His hands were bleeding as he struggled with the door, fleeing down the corridors of the palace to the room where Odin lay.

"Wake up!" he screamed. "They're coming. They're coming now."

There was no response to his bloody fingers leaving stains on the sheets. There was no reaction to his tears.

"Frigga!" he called, rushing to her chambers. "Frigga!"

She took one look at him and banished the maids, pulling him inside and staring at his hands in fear.

"What is happening?" she asked. "Breathe for me. Breathe."

He gulped for air and sobbed helplessly.

"It's my fault. It's all my fault."

"Loki, I don't need explanations. Just tell me what you need me to know."

Her calm tone seemed to cut through his panic, helping him think through his fear and spit it out.

"There is an imminent invasion from Jotunheim. Troops could arrive at any moment."

To his surprise, she didn't ask for any qualifiers or additional information. She just walked from the room with him scurrying after her, watching in awe as she called out orders and sent people running in all directions.

She led him down to the healing rooms and crushed one of their magic stones over his hands, the skin closing up instantly.

"Do you love Thor?" she asked, examining his vanished injuries.

"Yes." 

No hesitation. No doubt. She looked into his eyes with an expression of steel.

"Then I trust you to stand with him. Go. He'll be in the yard. Keep him safe."

He grasped her hands in his own and brought them to his lips, trying to show the gratitude he couldn't voice.

"I will. I swear it."


	20. Invasion

He met Thor running towards him, Odin's spear Gungnir in one hand and Mjölnir in the other, his face stern. For a moment, Loki was almost ready to flee, to run away and hide from him, scared of what he might say.

"Loki?"

"I'm sorry, Thor. I should have warned you. It's my fault. I'm so sorry..."

"Later. You've warned us, that what matters now. Come. Do you have any idea where they might be arriving?"

"No. No, I don't know. I..."

"Ssh. Here."

He held out Gungnir and Loki stared at him.

"I don't... I can't."

"Of course you can. I have Mjölnir. You have been learning magic, you can wield it."

"But Frigga..."

"Is at this very moment strengthening the palace shields with Heimdall. Her place is with him and yours is by my side. Take it."

The power buzzed through him, a rush of energy burning through his muscles. It was so surreal. He'd thought of this, holding the ultimate symbol of power. Somehow it had always seemed more triumphant in his mind.

And then Thor was kissing him, hard and forcefully.

"I love you," he said. "Remember that."

"I love you too."

At any other time, he would have held it back, jealously guarding his feelings and vulnerability. But that didn't matter now.

And if they didn't say it now, they might not be able to later if...

No. No, he wasn't thinking that way. He followed at Thor's heels as he rallied troops, dispatching them to various areas and sounding alarms. Out in the citadel, in the dim light of the already setting sun, he could see the people running for shelters, seeking protection from the oncoming conflict.

"Extinguish all light sources," Thor said to one of his generals. "We'll use the darkness to our advantage."

"But, my lord, we won't be able to see..."

"Yes. And neither will they. And we are on home turf."

"Besides, they're giants," Loki said. "They won't exactly be easy to miss."

He had expected there to be more suspicion falling on him. But then again, he didn't know what rumours were or were not going around. Or maybe the warriors and guards were too focused on the task at hand to concern themselves with him. Or maybe they trusted Thor's judgment inherently.

The land was plunged into darkness, an uneasy quiet falling over the waiting soldiers as their eyes grew accustomed to it.

"Are they likely to attack the city?" Thor asked.

"I would expect that they will storm the palace itself," Loki said. "The Casket of Ancient Winters is inside, after all."

A brief nod, barely discernible, and not only due to the dark. Behind them a low hum suggested that the shields were in place.

"I'll have to kill my father," Loki said, matter of factly.

He felt Thor tense beside him.

"I won't stay your hand if it comes to that," he said. "Though I pray it does not. I don't want that to rest on your conscious."

"I'm... I'm not sure it would. Is that terribly wicked of me?"

"It's not my place to judge that."

The silence that fell between them might have been uncomfortable had Thor not put an arm around Loki's shoulders while they waited together.

Loki lost track of the time, his whole existence shrunk down to the warmth of Thor's flesh, the steady pull of his breathing, the pulsing of Gungnir in his grasp.

They saw the Jotun troops arrive easily, sparks and flashes of light as they were forced between the worlds by magic.

"Avert your eyes!" Thor called. "Keep the advantage. Steady."

He'd never expected to be in battle. Quiet murders, that was meant to be his skill. But Loki couldn't deny the shiver that ran through him as the warriors all around them took up battle cries, screaming out, some cursing, some praying, all ready.

And then he saw the first clashes, giants leapt upon and struggling beneath the smaller Asgardian soldiers, taking out groups of them in single blows, flashes of magic from the war mages of Jotunheim sending distorted shadows all around.

Thor raised Mjölnir above his head, raining lightning down right at the point where troops were still flooding through a rough portal. The sickening stench of burning flesh reached Loki's nostrils, making him reel.

And as one giant escaped the throng, knocking aside several of Thor's men, turning towards the palace, starting to run, huge legs covering whole streets in a few bounds, Loki raised Gungnir and let instinct take over.

The blast sent shockwaves up his arm, light seeming to completely engulf him as he watched the giant explode into a thousand pieces.

This was not what he had been trained for, either by Laufey or Frigga. It was so...instant. The giant hadn't stood a chance against such power. Power that he held.

He didn't have a chance to dwell on that though. 

A sudden shout had Thor turning, his eyes alight with lightning and setting off at a run. 

"What is it?" Loki asked following after him.

"This is too easy. I'm suspicious that it might be some kind of diversion. These fighters are fodder, sent to distract us while the real forces move in to strike."

They had almost reached the other side of the palace when a huge arm emerged from nowhere in front of them, knocking them both to the ground. A witch light flickered into life, revealing the Jotun's face as he examined them.

"Big brother?" Helblindi said. "What a pleasant surprise."

Loki stared up at his gigantic younger sibling for a fraction of a second before laying a hand on Thor's chest and vanishing them both.


	21. Laufey

They'd landed in a cave somewhere above the city, pitch black and suddenly quiet, the sounds of battle far away.

"Come on," Thor said. "We must rejoin the battle."

"No," Loki said, forcing his lungs to work. "No, you stay here where it's safe."

He couldn't see Thor, but he could practically feel the confused expression.

"They're going to kill you, Thor. Target you specifically."

"That happens in war. I am a prince, a hefty prize."

"Not like this. They will happily sacrifice their lives to it, in a way no other enemy would. I know it."

"Loki, I understand that you're scared, that's..."

"No, you don't understand! They'll kill you because you belong to me! Because I love you."

The sound of a heavy footfall echoed around the cave. Loki tensed instantly, falling into a defensive pose.

"Trust me," he hissed, patting a hand against Thor's chest. "Stay here."

To his great surprise, Thor merely grasped his hand and pressed it to his lips before Loki drew away and moved cautiously towards the area the sound had come from.

He almost held his breath when he heard his father's voice, growling at him.

"You think I don't know you, little Loki? You think I don't know that you would scurry away up here? You think I cannot trace your magic? I taught you all you know of it."

Loki found a rock near his foot and hurled it away as far as he could, satisfied by the clattering sound it made.

Laufey's laughter boomed around him.

"Do you know nothing, my son? The stone falls, but that means someone threw it..."

A witch light came into life and Loki just shielded himself and Thor from sight. For Laufey was wrong. He had learned from others too. Frigga had taught him to go unseen, both literally and by stealth. Laufey passed directly in front of him without so much as a glance.

"You cannot hide from me..."

"Can I not?"

He ducked as father whirled around, shuffling off in a crouch while the giant head of Laufey prowled left and right above him, enormous hands slamming down against the ground.

"Rat," Laufey muttered. "Little traitor."

But Loki only grew more daring. He crept closer, nicking the back of his parent's thighs with the tip of Gungnir until twin streams of blood dripped from him.

"You are an irritating biting fly to me, Loki. You always were."

Loki paid him for that by striking him on the arm, cutting deep into his flesh.

His luck didn't last. It couldn't. He got too close for too long and Laufey scythed his legs out from under him, the concealment spell dissipating as his head hit the ground. His struggles seemed pitiful as he was pinned with one arm and Gungnir was ripped from his grasp and tossed aside.

"All that power and you didn't even use it. You could have shattered my body in a second."

"Need your head whole," Loki spat. "I need proof of your death."

"Well... What a shame for you."

He didn't even encase his whole arm in ice. A single giant finger grew cold and hard next to Loki's head as he squirmed and whimpered and fought to be free.

"It was always going to be like this, Loki. I knew from the day you were born that one day I would have to kill you for your own good, whether mercy or justice. I might not have had to, if you'd just done what you were told. But you made your choice."

Loki closed his eyes and waited for the inevitable, the killing blow that had been waiting for him all his life.

There was a heavy, meaty thud above his head.

The weight lifted from his body.

Loki opened his eyes to find Laufey sprawled in a heap next to him, eyes blank, and Mjölnir embedded in his skull, blood and gore looking around the wound.

He expected the tears to flow, but they did not.

"Have you an axe?" he asked helplessly, staring up at the roof of the cave. "Thor... I need an axe."


	22. Division

Thor eyed him warily and pulled him to his feet.

"Are you all right? Darling, are you hurt?"

Loki found himself laughing hysterically, flinging himself into Thor's arms.

"He's dead. He'll never hurt you. Never, never..."

"I was more concerned about him hurting you."

And suddenly the tears were on him, his body wracked with sobs and only Thor's arms keeping him upright, holding close and making comforting sounds.

Still snuffling, Loki drew back.

"We need to cut off his head," he said carefully. "The soldiers will surely flee if they see he is dead."

They had to accost a warrior outside and borrow his war axe and Loki insisted on doing it himself. Thor stood by in silence as he brought the terrible weapon down again and again, cleaving flesh from bone and finally severing his parent's spinal column.

"Should I carry...?" Thor began.

"No," Loki said. "I will present it to Helblindi."

Outside, the battle was clearly past its most frenzied. The soldiers of Jotunheim were undernourished and nervous without Laufey visible and leading them. The magical sheilds crackled around the palace, attacking any invaders who tried to breach them.

Those giants who saw Loki coming fled at the sight of their king's head being carried in both arms of their smallest prince. Others felt the retreat begin and ran.

Helblindi's eyes blazed when Loki found him, leading a defence against a band of Asgardians who had trapped him and some others against the burning shields.

"Call them off," Loki said. "Call them back, King of Jotunheim."

The Aesir were watching Thor carefully for orders, the whole area in a state of unnatural silence as all stayed their hands.

Helblindi reached out and took the head.

"Where's the rest of him?"

"In a cave."

He nodded uncertainly.

"I will expect his corspe returned in good time for funeral rites. But for now... It seems you have won, little big brother."

It was an old nickname and Loki felt his heart ache to hear it. It spoke of times so long ago, before they'd been trained to hate, when the infant Helblindi had just become the taller of the two. It was almost hopeful.

"I've defended my home," Loki said. "And my husband. But this was not your doing. Go in peace."

Thor's hand came to rest on his shoulder, a sign of support and also a silent promise. Helblindi looked between the two of them and signalled his army to retreat without another word.

It was like a dam had broken when the portals closed behind them. Suddenly everything was motion and noise, some cheering the victory, others carrying the wounded inside. Aesir could pass through the sheilds unhindered, but Loki could not.

Thor took a firm grip of his waist before flying upwards to signal to his mother and Heimdall that the defences could be lowered, carefully setting Loki down on the floor of the observatory.

No explanation of events were necessary. No doubt Heimdall had been keeping a close watch over them.

"Thor, return to the battlefield," Frigga said. "Organise the transportation of the wounded. Loki, come with me."

He didn't want to leave Thor, but obeyed anyway, following the Allmother as she swept downwards into the palace.

"I don't know much healing magic," he tried, genuinely unsure of how much use he could be.

She said nothing as they descended, pausing at a large basin at the entrance to the healing rooms.

"Here. Get the blood off."

He washed his hands and stood still for Frigga to wipe down his face. Apparently there was more on him than he had realised.

"Really, I don't know enough of healing magic to be here," he tried again. "I would be far better suited if I was with Thor."

But once he'd dried off, she led him somewhere else, a part of the palace he had never seen before. Deep down, where even if the sun had been up, its light would not have reached.

"Where are we going?" he asked. "Allmother? Where are you taking me?"

She sighed heavily and stepped through a large archway. Loki didn't know what to do except follow her, even when she immediately turned and walked out past him again.

"I'm sorry, Loki," she said.

"For what?"

And then a magic shield sprang into life, separating them and letting off heat that he could feel even from two feet away. Loki stared out at her, shaking his head helplessly.

"What have I done? Frigga, please."

She seemed genuinely upset, her usual polished veneer slipping in her distress.

"Loki, I can't let you go back to him until I know my son will be safe around you. I can't trust that this was not an elaborate scheme to gain trust. I'm sorry. I will be holding you here for a while."

"But you can't just... For what crime? What am I accused of?"

"Conspiracy to murder Thor Odinson."

He could have denied it. Every second of his training told him to deny, deny, deny.

Instead, he sat on the floor of his cell and wept as she left.


	23. Confession

"Can I see Thor?" he asked when his first meal was brought.

"I regret not," the servant replied.

Loki remembered her, one of Frigga's personal maids. She was nice. She had always been kind to him. Maybe there was news.

He scrabbled towards her, careful not to make contact with the shield. It had cooled down, but touching it would no doubt hurt.

"Does he know that I'm here?"

"Yes."

"And what does he...? Has he said anything?"

She sighed.

"He rages. He demands your immediate release. He doesn't care about the evidence."

"What evidence?"

"Her majesty fears that you conspired with your family to murder Prince Thor and launch an attack on Asgard. She further says that you may have formed a pact with your brother to murder your father, thereby drawing suspicion from yourself before killing Thor. Your room was full of shards of scale, identified as a communication device. And your personal belongings are full of poisons, weapons. But my prince insists that it is circumstantial."

"Do you...know what will happen to me?"

"If Prince Thor has anything to do with it, you'll be released with a full apology. Otherwise... I am not sure. Rumour has it that they await the Allfather awakening to pass judgment."

A chill ran down Loki's spine. He couldn't wait that long. It might be years before Odin awoke.

"Tell Thor I love him."

It was not a bad cell. That was perhaps the worst thing. He had a comfortable bed, books, tools to perform simple, harmless spells. It had been prepared for him personally.

How long had Frigga suspected him?

His serving girl changed every day. Some were more willing to chat than others. He learned that no date had been set for a trial. He had actually not been officially charged with a crime. He was being held under suspicion only, as a precaution. And in fact, no-one outside those trusted by Frigga knew. It seemed the rest of the palace and indeed the realm believed him taken ill. It was all being handled very quietly. No doubt some were coming to their own conclusions and assumptions.

The strange thing was that he didn't blame Frigga. She was acting in defence of her son. If he was her, he'd have been far less kind. If he was her, he might have skipped over suspicion and moved straight to sentencing.

A week of utter boredom passed, punctuated by constantly asking the servants to take his love to Thor, before he made a decision.

"Hey!" he said as a plate was pushed through the shield. "I want to confess."

The food, no doubt delicious as he was still fed like a prince's consort, had no flavour for him as he waited for word of what would happen now.

He didn't expect Frigga herself to arrive.

"Loki. I'm very sorry that it's come to this."

"I know. But I admit it. I... I conspired with my father to murder Thor. From the day I understood what my betrothal was, I also understood I was to kill my fiancé. I trained throughout my youth to do it. But I changed my mind once I was here and defied them. There was no conspiracy between myself and Helblindi. Please believe me. All I want is to stay here peacefully. I love Thor. I could never hurt him now."

She slumped slightly, but it seemed to be in relief.

"How old were you when this training first occurred?"

"I do not recall. I was too young."

The shield shimmered as she walked through it, smiling now.

"Then you are a victim here too," she said. "You were groomed to it from childhood. As such, your part in the conspiracy was coerced."

He blinked. Was that all? Was it really that easy? Or was this a trick? Was she trying to make him trip, confess to something else? The murder attempts perhaps?

"I thought you said that groom was an ugly word?" he said uncertainly.

"Oh, it is. But in this case it's accurate. You have not actually inflicted any harm on Thor. And you did warn us of the invasion. Why don't you tell me how that came about?"

There was no resisting her gentle tones. He let it out, how he had had second thoughts, how he'd changed his mind and tried to stall. He even admitted how long he had known an invasion had been planned, but insisted that he had hoped Odin would wake and the whole thing wouldn't happen. The only thing he didn't admit were the few occasions he had made real attempts on Thor's life. He hadn't succeeded. They were irrelevant now.

"I believe you," she said. "It's logical."

"So I can... I can see Thor?"

"Not just yet."

Loki fell to his knees in front of her. Hadn't he told the truth - most of it? What else did she want?

"Please. I need to see him. I miss him."

She helped him back to his feet, the shield vanishing behind her.

"I meant because he is not here. He is returning Laufey's body to Jotunheim personally."

Fear rushed through Loki instantly.

"It's a trap. Helblindi will kill him. He shouldn't have gone, not alone..."

"Be calm, Loki. He has taken some very trusted warriors with him. He will be fine. Trust him, if you do not trust me."

He nodded only a little shakily. Although some would bay for blood, surely Helblindi would be sensible. If he wasn't, Loki would have to kill him for it, which wasn't exactly an idea he relished.

"You will have time to bathe before his return, if you would like. I realise the basin in the cell isn't the most pleasant of things, but..."

"I understand, Allmother. I have learned my lesson. You are not to be trifled with or lied to. And you will stop at nothing to defend Thor."

"Would you?"

No. No, he wouldn't either.


	24. Reunion

The room had been thoroughly cleaned. There was no sign of the shattered scale or the blood he'd left on the door handle.

Apart from a slight rumpling in the bed where Thor had slept in it, there was little sign of habitation. Loki's things were all neatly arranged, but not the way he'd left them, and a cursory check revealed that most of his potion supplies and his daggers had been confiscated.

At least they'd left his lotions and soaps. Then again, they were Asgardian and unlikely to be murder weapons.

And that meant...

Ah, there it was. A liquid he'd made himself, following instructions from one of Frigga's books. It wasn't something to incite love, but he had deliberately used ingredients that he knew Thor liked, and included little pieces of bark to rub away dead skin and cream to soften any roughness.

Getting out of his clothes was wonderful. He'd been given clean garments in his cell, but he'd felt too exposed, the little privy only barely big enough for him to step into, let alone change in. He dumped them on the floor. There ought to be some mess around here, after all. None at all was just unnatural.

The water felt so good against his skin, warm enough and soothing. He started with his hair, teasing some of Thor's shampoo through it, the familiar scent setting him even further at ease, massaging his own scalp. Then his body, scrubbing from the shoulders down, new skin coming up everywhere that he hadn't managed to wash in his cell basin.

He could feel himself growing more and more calm, peace settling over him as he carefully rubbed all along one leg to his foot before starting on the other, drawing fresh water when he was finished to completely rinse off in.

He was lazing back in his second tub full, keeping only his face out of the water and listening to the strange under water sounds, when a joyous blond head appeared above him.

"Thor!"

He was on his feet in a second, water cascading from his body and reaching for his husband. It was strange to be taller than Thor, but the bath elevated him.

Before he knew it, a towel was wrapped around him and Thor was easing him out, kissing all over his face and neck and shoulders.

"I came running as soon as I heard you were here," he managed to get out. "I have missed you."

"And I you. Oh, Thor..."

A perfunctory drying off and he was being lifted, his legs around Thor's waist and lips locked together.

"I'm sorry," Thor said suddenly. "You must be exhausted. You should sl..."

"Husband, I am recently released from an open cell in which I have not even dared use my hands for relief. If you do not do something to fix this right now, I will not be responsible for my actions."

Thor grinned at him, giving his rump a solid slap that had Loki squirming and keening in his grasp.

"Who am I to deny my sweet tyrant anything he wishes?"

He carried Loki nude to the bed, laying him down carefully and staring at him for a moment.

"What?"

"Nothing. It's just all week, I've dreamt of this. I'm afraid of waking up."

"And what happens in your dreams, my love?"

"Oh... Terrible, filthy things that I shouldn't name in the presence of one as refined as you."

"Mmm... Well, I demand that you tell me, right this instant."

Thor chuckled as he shed his clothes, flinging them carelessly aside, Loki biting his lip as more and more skin was revealed.

"First of all, I dream that there is a beautiful creature in my bed, with eyes the colour of passion and skin of pure sapphire. It beckons to me, enticing me closer, and I am shy. For how could I be worthy of such a being?"

He was running his hands over Loki's body, stroking up his legs and down his sides, tracing a finger over his cheek and lips, the shell of his ear and the arch of his brow.

"And then it pouts at me and begs me closer, parting its legs and I kneel between them. Much as I am doing now with you. It plies me with caresses and gives the sweetest kisses..."

"And then what?"

"It asks me to make love to it, but I refuse. I am not worthy of it. But long legs are wrapped around me, arms around my shoulders and I could not escape its grasp even if I wanted to. And then it whispers in my ear all the filthy things it wants to do..."

"What things?" Loki asked, wrapping his limbs around Thor as described.

"Oh, I couldn't tell you. You would think me so debased."

"Please, Thor."

"Mmm... Well, it says that it wants to fuck me - and that's the word it uses - all through the night. It wants me to fill it up over and over again. It wants me to use my mouth on it everywhere, to bite on its beautiful nipples, to let it bury its glorious cock deep inside my body. It wants to cover me with spend, inside and out, and show me pleasure I have never known. It wants to love me, have me, possess me, kiss me, make me come until I cannot speak..."

"And... And what happens?"

"I succumb to it."

He kissed, hard and demanding, his hands beginning to roam over Loki's body until he was panting with need, his back arching upwards as Thor attached his mouth to each of his nipples in turn and then descended to lap at the head of his cock.

"Talk to me, tyrant," he begged. "Please talk to me. I have missed your voice."

"Ngh... Ah... Oh, suck me, husband, please. Norns, I love your mouth. So hot and wet... Oh... Mmm..."

Suckling on the tip for a moment, Thor gazed up at him adoringly as he leant down and took all of Loki's shaft, tracing veins with his tongue and teasing with little bursts of suction.

"Don't make me come. Oh, don't. I want to come on your cock. I want to come when you're fucking me. Fuck, I'm already wet."

As if to test that assertion, Thor slipped a finger inside, rubbing upwards to make Loki keen.

"Fuck me. Fuck me now. Come on."

Thor gave his cock one last hard suck, enough to make him cry out yet again, and took his finger into his mouth.

"So delicious. Mm, after I spill within you, I will lick my seed back out, make you come again while I taste us both."

"How many times will I come this night?"

He could nearly taste himself on Thor's tongue.

"As many times as you wish, my darling."

Thor's cock sliding into him felt like coming home.


	25. Revelations

"Really, Thor?"

"Once more."

"We've been fucking for hours."

This was true. Loki was drenched - in sweat, in spill, in his own arousal. He felt almost drunk on it. His muscles ached pleasantly. His seed was still leaking down Thor's thighs from where he'd come inside him. Twice.

"I could fuck you for days, loveling."

"And one day I will test that. All right, one more round. I want to come so hard I see stars."

His whole body shook under Thor's pounding, making him scream in pleasure, barely touching his cock before he came, feeling as Thor pumped yet more spend into him. He'd be dripping for weeks after this probably.

Or he would have done if Thor hadn't made good on his promise and tried his best to suck it out, making him come again in the process.

He swatted at Thor's face, how pleased he looked, little traces of Loki's arousal glistening at the tips of his beard.

"You are filthy, Thor."

"Aw..." he chuckled. "Have I exhausted you, tyrant?"

"Mm. Hold me. And go to sleep."

He regretted not getting clean when he woke covered in dried come, but Thor seemed to like it and managed to coax a sleepy orgasm out of him with his fingers, teasing his flesh carefully and gently until he was rocking and moaning, trying to maintain a grumpy expression even while pleasure was warming his body from the inside out.

"Is that a week's worth now, you insatiable brute?"

"Mmm. Yes, I think so."

"Good. It will be amazing if I can walk to the bath."

"Then I shall carry you."

Lovely though this was, it didn't take away the fact that they really had to talk. Thor seemed too adapted, too willing to go back to how things were. But... But things had changed. Or they should change. Or...

"You took my father's body back."

No attempt at preamble. No warning. Thor sighed as he drew the bath water.

"How fares my brother with Jotunheim?" Loki asked.

"I had never been before. It's very light there. And everyone is so tall. I know I shouldn't be surprised, but... It was a short visit. I didn't see much. But I was treated very well. Helblindi was unfailingly polite and asked after your health. I told him you were a little indisposed."

Loki slipped into the water and scrubbed at his skin, frowning slightly. Thor sat down on the floor nearby.

"I suppose it's better that than say I was locked up."

"I'm sorry," Thor said. "My mother is very cautious. I tried to see you, but the guards were expressly forbidden to let me in. I understand if you are upset."

"It's fine. I know why she did it. And I am unharmed. I would rather everything was understood and clear than for there to be suspicion in our house."

"Still. I wanted you to come with me to see your father laid to rest. It didn't seem right leaving you here."

Loki scoffed a little.

"I know it sounds bad, but I feel very little warmth for him. Farbauti was the caring one. I still don't understand how they were married. But Laufey... Since coming here, I have realised just how much he used me as a tool for much of my life. I was useful to him because I could infiltrate Asgard, because I was easily moulded, because I would kill you..."

It just slipped out. He dropped the soap, hands shaking. What if Thor didn't know? What if Frigga hadn't told him, had declared Loki not guilty? He might have just made an awful mistake.

"I..." he tried. "I mean..."

"Ssh," Thor said soothingly. "It's all right. I know."

"Know what?"

It was a desperate pretence, but all he had left.

"I know that you tried to murder me."

Loki trembled helplessly. An attempt, not just an intent. He'd been so careful...

"How? How do you know?"

"Loki, you tried to throttle me on our wedding night. It was a pretty clear signal."

"But... But you enjoyed that. You said you liked it..."

"I had to say something. And... And I did like it. I found it arousing to be with someone so enthusiastic."

"I was enthusiastic to be killing you."

Thor shrugged.

"You had passion."

Loki was completely adrift. 

"But how can you...trust me? How could you bear to sleep beside me, knowing that I could try to murder you at any time?"

"You are clever. Therefore you would choose a method with deniability. You wouldn't slit my throat in the night. You wouldn't use seidr. Therefore, suffocation, drowning or poison were most likely. I just had to be careful with water, pillows and food. Easy."

"And did... Did your mother know of your suspicions? Did she know I had... had tried?"

Thor did look a little guilty at that.

"No. I kept it from her. She would have locked you up and we would have been back at war. No, I decided to see what would happen as our relationship developed, whether your attempts would continue or if you would become accustomed to me. And here we are. You haven't tried to kill me for months now."

Sickness was rolling through Loki.

"So your... Your love was an act, meant to charm me?"

In a flash, Thor was by his side, kissing his damp fingers.

"Of course not. Darling, I had wanted to be your friend ever since I held you as an infant, wanted to be your companion since we first spoke together, wanted to be your lover since we met as adolescents. You wore silver bells around your ankles and never had a sound seemed dearer to my ears than the chime of your footsteps. I love you, Loki. And I wasn't going to let a few murder attempts get in the way of a potentially wonderful life together."

A few quiet moments passed.

"You are so very strange, Thor."

"Would you have me any other way?"

"Indeed," Loki said, unable to keep a smile from his lips. "I would not."

He shrieked as Thor leapt into the bath with him for proper kisses.

The air was clearer for now and Loki couldn't help but feel elated. Thor knew. And he didn't mind.

"I think it went a little backwards," he said, thinking aloud, Thor resting his head on his shoulder.

"Hmm? What do you mean?"

"Your wishes for our relationship. We were lovers first, in the physical sense. And then companions. I feel friendship and understanding of one another took a little time to grow. As it should do perhaps."

"And now we are lovers in the emotional sense too?"

Loki chuckled slightly.

"You need to have it confirmed? Do you not feel it?"

"I just like to hear it."

Loki gently tilted Thor's face back by the chin to kiss his forehead.

"You are ridiculous. But I love you."

"And here was me thinking you loved me _because_ I am ridiculous."

"Maybe just a little."

He wanted to stay in the bath all day with Thor lazing in his arms. But, alas, it was time to announce to the council that his 'illness' had passed and to be updated about how the realm was developing post-invasion. Post-Laufey.

And wasn't that potentially the perfect opportunity for a new age?


	26. Awakenings

Their first warning that the Allfather had awoken was a sudden movement of troops. In theory, Loki supposed it was good that they so readily obeyed their king's command, but in practice that meant they were following the confused thoughts of an old man who had just woken from a long sleep.

Part of him wondered if they just went through the motions to keep him happy. Frigga swept him away to update him more fully on the events he had missed, even as he spoke loudly about imminent invasion.

"That's my fault," Loki said to Thor. "I tried to warn him in his sleep. Tried to wake him up. I thought that then Jotunheim would decide not to come."

"Don't worry," Thor said. "The longer he sleeps, the longer he takes to fully come around. He'll be fine. And you were doing what you thought best."

Loki was still a little disconcerted by how readily Thor had forgiven him for...everything. He wondered what it was like to always think so well of people. Or if Thor was only this forgiving because it was him.

"So what happens now?" he asked. "Will your father take over again? How are we to occupy ourselves without trying the patience of the council every day?"

"I don't know. But if he does, we could go away for a little while. A little holiday, how does that sound? Up to the mountains or by the waters. Or even off-realm."

"Jotunheim?" Loki said instantly. "I would... I want to try to cultivate a more cordial relationship. Maybe have their sanctions against us removed..."

"You want to bring candles back."

"Yes. Trade would be good for everyone, Aesir and Jotun alike. And perhaps Helblindi will be willing to listen to us. I think he will be a good king."

Thor hesitated.

"He may be, yes. But I worry that others are still loyal to your father. They might be less receptive to our offers."

"Then we take the Casket. They would have to listen then."

And now Thor was shaking his head.

"I'm sorry, Loki. We can't do that. We can't give such a powerful weapon to such a volatile realm. We just can't."

"It's not... It's not a weapon. Not necessarily."

Thor still looked doubtful.

"It's like Mjölnir," Loki insisted. "It can be a weapon, but it would be used for rebuilding..."

"We can't."

"Then we won't return it. I could take it, use its power to help rebuild, and then we take it back to Asgard and put it back in the vault. Safe and sound."

"You think the people of Jotunheim would want our charity?"

"We are a stubborn people, I admit, but shrewd too I think. If help is freely given, surely it doesn't matter where it comes from."

"But it's not free. You want their tallow in return."

"No, no, I want to trade them grain for that. Using the Casket would merely be a gesture of good will."

Thor laughed then.

"Oh, Loki. You've not just been learning magic from my mother, have you? Well, if you truly wish to put forward this idea to my father and the council, I will stand with you. And I'm sure she will too. It seems the most sensible option."

At dinner, Loki couldn't quite believe that this monarch was the same old man he had seen asleep. Dressed in light armour and with a gold patch over his missing eye, he seemed much more imposing, one piercing blue iris gazing intently at everything.

Odin insisted that Loki sat on his left, Thor's usual seat. It was difficult not to squirm under the scrutiny.

"You came and spoke to me in my sleep."

"Yes, Allfather. I was trying to wake you."

"Hmm. And I have heard all about the little...unpleasantness. But Asgard yet stands. Thor still breathes. All is well."

"We're planning to go to Jotunheim," Thor said suddenly, making Loki jump. "As a diplomatic envoy."

"I see," Odin said, his voice slightly tense. "And have you any other plans I should know about?"

Thor explained all of it, their idea to take the Casket and use it, to attempt starting again with Helblindi on the throne. How this would benefit Asgard and make Jotunheim more stable. Loki was quietly impressed by all he had picked up and how eloquently he was presenting their case, grateful that he didn't have to pitch it himself.

Odin nodded slightly.

"Give me a little time to get back into the swing of things, and then I will consider it."

From Thor's reaction, Loki surmised that was a yes.


	27. Jotunheim

"Stop fussing, Thor."

"I can't help it. I'm sweltering."

"You'll appreciate it when we get to Jotunheim. You won't even feel the cold."

"But I don't need it. You'll be there to keep me warm."

Loki snorted and brushed their noses together. He had piled furs upon Thor, wrapping him up in layer after layer until they were so thick he had to waddle up to the Bifrost.

Odin had taken a week and a half to get up to speed with the council. He was brusque and sharp and Loki still almost jumped every time he was asked for an opinion. On one hand, he was glad to be included, treated as a valued part of the family. On the other, he wished Odin would give a little warning before he spoke. A short cough perhaps.

The Casket was safely concealed amongst their luggage. Helblindi didn't even know it was coming. Landing a little outside the palace complex, Loki couldn't help a little smile. He'd always known he would be the one to bring it back, albeit temporarily.

"Brother," Helblindi said, moving forward to carefully embrace him. "Welcome, to you and your husband. Come, dinner is served."

It was clear that a lot of accommodations had been made for them. A small table had been set, more a school desk by Jotun standards, and children's chairs to better suit their height. It would have been mortifying had he been alone, but with Thor there, tasting the food from Loki's homeland for the first time with every sign of enjoyment, it was bearable.

Helblindi promised there would be time for trade talks the next day, so Loki was free to take Thor on a wander of the palace and grounds, magic lights springing to life beneath their feet and the moonflowers glowing softly. It all seemed so normal to him. Thor was captivated, the blue lights reflecting off his skin and hair. If he squinted, Loki could almost believe him Jotun.

He'd expected his old bedroom, but apparently it was no longer available. It was clear what that was a euphemism for. Laufey must have destroyed it in a fit of rage.

"And none of my things survived?" Loki asked.

"A few," Helblindi said. "They are in a box in your suite. And if you wish, I could get you a ladder..."

"No, thank you. We will manage."

The bed was at chest height on them, and required running leaps. Thor offered to lift him, but it was far more fun to start at one side of the room and fling themselves onto it, giggling and dragging their bodies up.

"I hope we don't roll off in the night," Thor said, kicking his feet to note how they just reached halfway down the blankets. "We should try to stay in the middle."

"You just want an excuse to cuddle."

Like they needed one.

"I feel like an infant. I haven't been this swamped by a bed since I was a child."

Loki snuggled against his shoulder.

"Go on, then. This is where you tell me some beautiful story about how we shared a bed as tiny children and you felt like the whole world was somehow right in that moment."

Thor laughed.

"No such tales, I'm afraid. I think the closest we got to that was when I tried to sneak down to your room the final time we met before marriage."

"Why? I mean, what for?"

The shrug made his head move.

"I wanted to be near you. But my mother, knowing that I was a hormonal, smitten young man had sealed your door against me with magic. She found me asleep outside it in the early hours of the morning and sent me back to bed."

"Mmm, you make it sound so romantic and not like you were trying to have me before it was proper."

"The thought barely crossed my mind. Hardly at all. Definitely not every night for months afterwards."

They giggled helplessly. Loki couldn't remember being so happy in Jotunheim as he was lying in this over-sized bed with his perfectly sized husband.

"If I had opened the door, what would you have done to me?"

"Truthfully, I fear I would have panicked. But I did have a plan. A way we could enjoy one another and not stain the sheets. Without getting caught."

Loki's body was starting to tingle pleasantly, knowing exactly where Thor was going with this and happy to enjoy the ride.

"And how would you have done it?"

"Well... The first thing we'd have to do is muffle our moaning."

"Moaning? How confident you are, Prince Thor, sneaking along to your betrothed's bedchamber in the night. But tell me... How ought we make no sound?"

"Simple, Prince Loki. We both need something in our mouths."

They struggled a little to get out from under the blankets, worried that anyone going under them risked suffocation, and soon enough were lying head to feet.

Or rather...

"My, Prince Thor. How imposing it is. I don't think I will manage it..."

"Don't worry. I'm sure you can."

He knew he could. But it was fun to play at being disobedient youths, stealing time together. Loki teased Thor with little kitten licks to the head and short bursts of sucking, eventually having to lunge forward as Thor took his cock into his throat.

They couldn't draw it out. It was difficult to have any kind of finesse when overwhelmed the sensation and the feeling of doing something somehow forbidden.

Loki thought he might have lasted longer if Thor hadn't kept _humming._

But the hypothesis was correct. No loud moans, no stained bedding, two satisfied partners. An excellent plan.

"Well," Loki breathed as Thor dragged the blankets back over them. "I never expected to do that. Come in Jotunheim I mean."

Thor kissed his temple.

"We should go on more diplomatic trips."

"Hmm?"

"So I can make you come in all the realms."

"Be careful. I will hold you to that, husband."


	28. Trading

"We have some kind of small swimming arena!"

Loki groaned and tried to wrestle his way out of a pile of blankets. He had to leap to the floor and wander to the other room of this guest's suite to find out what Thor was talking about.

"That's just a bath, Thor. Remember where you are."

"So spacious."

"Well, yes. It's big enough to hold two giants. Be careful with the water though. It flows fast enough to bruise someone of our size."

He watched as Thor unleashed the torrent, satisfied that he wasn't going to hurt himself, and turned back towards the bedroom.

"You're not joining me?" Thor asked.

"I will. I just want to check something first."

Specifically, he wanted to see what objects Helblindi had managed to save for him from his old life.

Books, mostly, it seemed, some clothing that he had no real use for. But one or two special things.

A crystal, completely devoid of magic but pretty nonetheless, that he'd won from a visiting Elf princess in his youth. He couldn't remember her name now, but she'd been nice. They had gamed together, in more ways than one, though he had had to call a halt to proceedings before they went too far.

"I'm sorry," he'd said, drawing back from breathless kisses where they'd hidden in an empty corridor. "I am promised to another."

And she had grinned at him and said that she was too and what did it matter to have fun?

Oh, he'd been so tempted... But that was long ago now. He'd refused with all the politeness he could and she had softly touched his face and said that she understood, it was all right not to be ready. A misunderstanding, but kind enough. He hoped she was happy now, that her marriage was as fortunate as his was. Maybe they would meet again on their travels and he could show off the results of his betrothal.

Next he found the silver bells for wearing around his ankles that Thor apparently loved so much. He hadn't known. He hadn't remembered that he'd worn them until Thor mentioned it.

How typical that Thor would see the good in something that Loki had hated. Certainly, they were pretty, but they were also a source of mild shame for him. He remembered it like it was yesterday, how others of his age had mocked him for them a few weeks after that trip to Asgard, saying he had to wear them to prevent being stepped upon by people of normal height. He'd taken them off and hidden them somewhere, not given them another thought until Thor had said he'd liked them.

How nice to replace bad memories with good. Yes, they could come back to Asgard where their chime would be appreciated.

And...

Loki held the final object to his face, inhaling deeply. It was his infant blanket. No doubt this was what he had been wrapped in the first time Thor held him as a baby and felt that wave of protectiveness. It had been far too big for him really. Farbauti had woven it in pregnancy and refused not to use it after all that work. If he concentrated, he could still smell...

Farbauti wasn't dead. But he wasn't often able to get out, restricted to safe parts of the palace and eating in private. He used to see Loki every day, but had grown distant for reasons no-one seemed willing to discuss. Afraid of what his little Loki was growing into, probably. Upset at how Laufey treated him, perhaps. 

Would he be happy to see them, to meet Thor? His son's husband and his husband's killer?

Maybe they wouldn't have to. He couldn't decide if that was comforting or not.

Within moments, Loki had wiped the hints of tears from his face and returned to the bathroom, finding Thor swimming up and down the enormous tub.

"What's the matter?" he asked immediately, Loki's forced smile not fooling him for a moment.

"Just...thinking about Farbauti. I haven't seen him in a while. I just..."

"You miss him. Don't worry, we'll find the time to visit."

"I think I miss who he used to be. I'm not sure he would want to see me, that's all."

Thor tried to soothe him by washing his hair for him. And it did help, at least a little.

They couldn't really waste time, having to rush to meet Helblindi. Thor had asked if he ought to wear something Jotun as a sign of respect, but Loki thought his day armour would be fine. Loki's clothes would be unlikely to fit anyway. He was in full princely regalia though, all black and silver, striking but not threatening.

The council were faintly intimidating, but mainly due to size. It probably wasn't meant to be so, but everything was a little awkward for them. Even the small stepladders set out for them next to the enormous chairs seemed designed to remove dignity.

"So, little big brother," Helblindi said. "What grand scheme do you have for us?"

Loki could feel pride radiating from Thor as their proposal was laid out, the trade deals that Asgard suggested and explanations of how both realms would benefit. To his surprise, none of the council seemed to object. Perhaps Laufey had not been as well-respected as he thought. Perhaps they all wanted something of what Asgard had to offer. Perhaps they were sick and tired of constant war.

Helblindi drove hard bargains. Some of what he wanted - and he had clearly given some thought to it - would be impossible. Thor had the inventory and knew exactly what their limits were, both for Asgard's consumption and the arrangements they had with other realms.

Helblindi did not seem fully satisfied and so Loki decided to sweeten the deal.

"There is...something else, brother. Something I would speak to you about in private. It will only take a few moments."

Despite a little grumbling, the councillors and Thor left the room, Loki facing off against his sibling.

"I don't want this going to the wrong ears," Loki said. "But as a gesture of good will, we are prepared to offer the use of the Casket for rebuilding."

Helblindi's eyes lit up. What a way to welcome his reign. Who could doubt that he was a good ruler if he could restore such a precious object?

"You would return it?"

"Alas, no. I tried, but... The Allfather is not prepared to return a weapon to what he sees as an aggressive realm. No, I will use it, return some power to the land to allow full harvests again. No-one else needs to know, but the ground will be healthier. Your reign will usher in a new era of prosperity and bountifulness. It will be a good omen, to be sure."

"And in exchange for this omen, I will accept your trade deals?"

"I see no reason to refuse, brother."

A wry smile.

"Indeed. And I'm sure if there is a reason, you will fix it immediately. I wonder if Asgard knows how skilled a pocket diplomat they have in you. I just hope they are grateful."

Loki grinned and held out his hand, Helblindi carefully grasping it from the outside and shaking it very gently.

"You know that really only one person knows how to use that device?" Helblindi said. "You will have to consult with them as soon as you can."

"Who is it?"

A slight frown.

"Why, Farbauti of course. Who else?"

Loki's smile slipped away.


	29. Farbauti

He wasn't scared. At least, that's what Loki told himself as he took the Casket towards Farbauti's private rooms, Thor cautiously following up the spiralling stairs and blinking in surprise when Loki pushed the box into his grasp.

"Hold onto it for a moment. Wait outside unless I call you in. I'm not sure how he will react to seeing me."

"Don't worry," Thor said. "I'll be right here if you need me or it."

Loki took a deep breath and stepped into a very dark room. It seemed forgotten almost, despite how clean it was. Unlived in.

At first he thought Farbauti must be sleeping, despite the early hour, and turned to leave. But then he heard a soft voice calling out.

"It's not dinner time yet. Who's there? What has happened?"

He could hear shuffling feet and swallowed hard.

"It's Loki. It's me, it's Loki."

The shuffling stopped.

"Loki?" Farbauti croaked. "My little Loki back here again? Come closer."

Obediently, Loki moved, following a well-trodden path through the room, clearly where the servants walked every day to deliver meals and fresh laundry.

"It's so dark in here," he commented mildly, getting a chuckle in return.

"I'm not needing lights these days, child. But feel free to conjure one if you need it."

A wave of his hand lit up the room and Loki finally beheld his other parent, swamped beneath a pile of furs, looking so much older than he was, head turned in his direction, eyes milky and sightless.

"You're..." Loki started before he could stop himself.

"Blind? Yes, I know. My sight has been going for years. I didn't want you to know. Didn't want it upsetting you, especially just as you were leaving home. It's not all bad though. I learned reading spells before it was too late. The books speak themselves to me now. Come here. My arms do still work."

He was very gentle, holding Loki close but not squeezing, running a hand carefully over his face.

"I always knew you'd be handsome," he said. "Delicate. And does your husband think so too?"

Loki was glad that his blush went unseen.

"You, er... You know then? That I... abandoned my mission."

"As far as I am concerned, your mission is and has always been to be happy if you possibly can. If that meant obeying Laufey, so be it. If it means living with Thor and having a long and joyful marriage, so be that. How is the golden prince of Asgard anyway?"

"He killed Laufey," Loki blurted out. "Defending me from him."

"And are you angry with him for doing that?"

"No, I... I don't know. I feel guilty. Laufey was my father. Your husband."

"And we loved him. But when someone only gives out hate, that can become difficult. I loved Laufey. Truly, I did. But I love my children more. If I had to choose between him and you, it would always be you. Always. He loved his hatred more than he loved me, you, Helblindi, the realm itself. He'd become a creature of hate, Loki. He was no longer the man I married, or the father who listened to your tiny kicks in the womb. Do not feel guilty about the end of his age. Have hope for a better future."

"That's... That's actually why I'm here. Helblindi said that you're the only one who truly knows how to use the Casket."

Farbauti's white eyes widened, his jaw dropping open.

"You... You have it? Odin has let it leave Asgard?"

"Only temporarily. I had to seek special permission to bring it here, and to be allowed to use it personally for recovery. We're... It's part of a new era of better understanding. A gesture of good will to Jotunheim from Asgard."

Farbauti laughed, tapping Loki heavily on the shoulder.

"Oh, Queen Frigga has done a number on you, hasn't she? Every word carefully weighed."

"Is that...a bad thing?"

"Quite the opposite. I used to play the game with her when you were yet young and we went visiting your fiancé. She was always more skilled at it than I, though sometimes she would let me win a snippet of information to spare my pride. Nothing important, but at least a little something. She is considerate in that way. Now, let's see what we can do. And get your husband in here. I can hear him pacing the corridor."

Thor was treated to the same face touching and a little arm squishing, Loki mouthing apologies all the while. But he didn't seem perturbed at all. He seemed to consider it an honour to be so thoroughly inspected and deemed fit to be Loki's husband.

The Casket hummed slightly as they set it on a table, Loki standing atop a pile of books to be at the right height to help.

"We're going to channel the power down," Farbauti said. "Into the ground and out through the realm. It may feel strange and wonderful, but remember to let go. If you cling on too tightly you'll start to... Well, just don't. It is better not to. Here, place your hand upon it and close your eyes. Now push with me."

Even with his eyes closed, Loki saw his own magic, a light green flare, joining with Farbauti's beam of silver and the blue glow of the Casket. The power flowed through him like water soaking earth as they pushed together.

And there was something else too. Something bright and fleeting, something he couldn't grasp.

"Don't worry," Farbauti said, sensing his concern. "It's the land. The natural magic. See how it blooms as we pass?"

Yes, yes, he did. Every push of the Casket's power caused a blaze of life to erupt, rushing through the soil and the permafrost, the deep slow roots of the cliff trees and the thin shoots of the fresh planting of salt grass by the frozen ocean.

Loki felt himself slipping, mouth open around a gasp that seemed to draw in all the air in existence.

His mind was huge. He was the land and everything in it, living, dying, laughing, fighting all at once. He was the leaf of the moon flower, the jaws of the ice beast... He was Helblindi and he was a newborn infant, a child and a grandparent. He was predator and prey and scavenger and parasite and huge and tiny, living all lives and none all at the same time...

He could stay like this forever...

"Come back, little Loki. Come back to your real body."

But he didn't want to. This was everything. He was everything. From here he could understand, he could see how it all fit, how the strongest creature relied on the weakest to live. Here it all made sense. Why come back from this feeling? Why give this up?

A hand on his shoulder.

_Thor..._

He let go, his mind spiraling backwards, rushing in a blur back towards that simple gesture, that touch that was somehow home.

Loki's eyes flickered open. He was slumped on the table, the Casket pulsing gently by his head.

"Went a bit too far, little one," Farbauti chuckled. "But done now. You can feel it, can't you? Everything is...better. You must thank the Allfather for granting us this. Now, are you staying for dinner?"

He could still feel the residual tingling of the minds of millions of living things as they sat down together. It would be very easy to become addicted to that feeling, that certainly, the sensation of understanding the whole universe. Perhaps that was why Odin kept it locked up. Still, it almost seemed a shame...

Thor took his hand and squeezed it gently for an answering smile. And suddenly Loki knew he didn't need the Casket's power.

He didn't need those lives. Just his own.


	30. Later...

"Mmm, darling..."

Lips fixed to his neck, the slight brush of beard, and he couldn't even enjoy it...

"Thor... Thor, stop! We'll be late."

They had places they needed to be, they couldn't do this now...

"They can wait for us."

"You think your parents won't know exactly what kept us?"

Thor's smile wavered a little, but he agreed, with a little complaining.

"It's these clothes. You know what it does to me when I can see so much skin. Makes me wonder what the rest of you looks like. The parts hidden away underneath..."

"You know exactly what I look like underneath. You saw it all only this morning. Now get down there. You have to wait for me and I will not be robbed of a dramatic entrance."

Thor kissed him once more before finally leaving the room. It was a year to the day since they had been wed and Asgard wanted to celebrate for several reasons. Their king had awoken, their realm was safe, their prince was happy, and a tradition from long ago was about to be revived.

Loki was dressed to shine, silver ribbons in his hair and cascading over his chest, a deep blue kilt with shining stars embroidered upon it. And now that Thor was out of his way, he could get out his secret weapon.

He'd successfully hidden his silver bells, waiting for an opportune moment and this seemed as good as any. They clipped on easily, giving a gentle chime to each of his steps.

It seemed bizarre to have a light festival in summer, but Odin had insisted they celebrate to return of candles as soon as they could. And that meant ceremony and symbolism and song and a lot of motions to go through before feasting.

His role was to walk a large candle up the centre of the hall and meet Thor at the top, from where they would walk around the perimeter, lighting up the room together in a representation of their love. 

Loki had to admit that he was a little concerned about fires when he entered the darkened space, the shutters all drawn to block out the light. Surely Frigga would have done something about that. It was the kind of thing she would have quietly seen to.

With every step, his bells rang out. He could hear the hushed whispers around him, the sense of anticipation in the room as he advanced, a single light in the darkness.

The flame illuminated Thor's smile, looking like he'd been trying to light the realm by cheer alone.

The near-silence was almost eerie as they walked together, lighting great floor-standing candlesticks to create little pools of illumination until the whole room was glowing, rows of tables laid out, the people igniting table candles as they passed.

Before he knew it, they were back at the head table, and taking their seats, a sea of tiny gold flames in front of him.

Odin made a speech, something about a bright future and renewed relations, but Loki didn't pay him much attention. He was rather busy trying to keep his expression in check, even as Thor was stroking his thigh with distinct purpose. 

He was more than willing to put up with this treatment until the hand in question started trying to manoeuvre through the layers of his kilt to the skin below and had to be slapped away.

Frigga definitely seemed to be laughing at him. She had dissected their trip to Jotunheim minutely. Farbauti had been offered a return trip to Asgard, but had politely declined. Loki vowed to go back and see him again very soon, as often as possible.

Odin was a lot less frightening once Loki was used to his brusque manner, though that might have been due to realising how easily Frigga danced around him and softened blows to his ego as though they'd never occurred. Although he didn't ever think he'd need to behave that way with Thor, Loki thought it a useful skill and closely observed her technique.

And Thor...

Well, Thor.

"I like your bells."

"Yes, I know. That's why I wore them."

"Ooh, and here I was thinking it was to add to your dramatic entrance..."

"They are dual purpose then."

He was definitely jingling, gently swinging his legs and thinking about letting Thor explore beneath his kilt later when he realised Frigga was speaking to him.

"I'm sorry?"

"I wondered if you would like to join me for tea before bed."

"Yes, of course."

He agreed automatically, but thought about it afterwards. The contraceptive potion. His six months were up again already. Should he though? If he decided to drink it, nothing would change. And if he didn't...

A little glance at Thor gave him no cause for concern. He seemed to be enjoying himself immensely, not knowing of the sudden turmoil in his spouse's mind. What would it be like to carry Thor's child? What would it do to their relationship?

Farbauti had said that he loved his children more than his husband. Loki couldn't imagine loving anything as much as he loved Thor. And what if Thor loved the baby more? Could he stand to become second in Thor's affections?

Then again, he liked the idea of Thor taking care of him, easing his aches, talking to the little one within his womb, looking at their child in wonder at the little life they had made together...

But there would be time enough for that in the future, would there not? At the moment they could go anywhere, do anything, visit all the realms, spar all morning and fuck all afternoon, without worrying that a small voice would wake them from a pleasantly-spent sleep.

Children were a big commitment. They should discuss it together, plan the future in the years to come. Yes. Waiting would be the best thing.

That way he could keep Thor all to himself for a little while longer.

He drank the tea after the meal, giving Frigga a little smile before practically skipping off to be with his husband on this night of celebration.


	31. Love

Loki raised an eyebrow when he opened the door of their chambers to find Thor nude on his back, stroking his cock with long firm pulls.

"Starting without me?"

"Well, I wanted to be completely ready for you, tyrant."

"Well, I'm not ready. Here, help me with the ribbons."

In fact, Thor wasn't very much help, running his hands all over Loki's body as he tried to untangle his hair.

"What would you have me do tonight?"

"So many options, Thor. Why don't you give me some ideas?"

"Mmm... Well, I could lay you on your back and suck you. I could lie behind you and kiss your neck as I stroke your cock and thrust deep inside. You could sit above me and ride me hard for your pleasure. I promise not to spill until you give me permission. Any of those appeal?"

"All of them," Loki said, turning and spreading his legs to let Thor stand between them. "But I think I know what I want."

"And what's that?"

"So many things. First of all, I want you to kiss me..."

It was deeply gratifying to have Thor obey immediately, even following as Loki stood up and fiddled with the fastening on his kilt. He slapped Thor's hands away when he tried to help, unwilling to rush. Finally, it was off and Loki could let it slide to the ground. He leapt upwards, wrapping his legs around Thor's waist, grinning to hear his ankle bells jingling.

"Go to the bed. Sit."

He ended up in Thor's lap, languidly kissing him and writhing just enough to tease, waiting for Thor to crack. His own cock was rubbing up against Thor's stomach, grinding against the muscle, but leaving his husband's untouched.

Eventually, Thor whined into his mouth.

"Hmm?"

"Please..."

Well, since he was asking so politely.

Loki reached back, a firm grip around Thor's cock, gasping as he sank down upon it and made Thor moan.

"You... Oh, Loki..."

"What? What is it?"

"You feel amazing. You _are_ amazing."

Loki smiled and rolled his hips, making little circles and rocking until he found a rhythm that he liked, that felt good to him, rubbing inside at just the right spot to send waves of pleasure through his body.

"Has it really been only a year since this all began?"

"I feel as though you've always been in my arms, darling."

And what arms they were, Loki thought as they resumed their slow, indulgent kisses. They spanned the width of his back, strong and comforting, supporting his every motion.

Almost without him realising it, Loki began to speed up, starting to breathe more heavily with the effort required, panting against Thor's lips, a slight whimper escaping him.

"I've got you... You're safe."

"Mmm..."

He carefully moved Thor's hand away from his cock as he tried to move in to stroke it.

"I can come like this. Think I can anyway. Come just from having your cock inside me."

"Tell me if you change your mind."

Thor's hands moved to his hips, letting Loki hold on around his neck as he started to set the rhythm, pulling Loki firmly forwards and down, cock reaching impossibly deep inside him.

"Norns, Thor..."

"You like that?"

"Yes. Mm, it feels so good. Faster. A little faster. Yes, like that."

He yelped as Thor stood, holding him up and thrusting hard from beneath, harsher pushes that had Loki keening. His whole body moved with it, and Thor grinned.

"Can't keep this up for long," he grunted. "Just wanted to make those bells ring."

Loki laughed joyously as Thor walked them to the wall for a bit of support, resuming his firm thrusts as soon as Loki was comfortable, his twitching cock not slipping out once.

Loki had his ankles crossed behind Thor's back, a faint jingling still echoing from them as Thor rocked into him.

"Fuck, Loki..."

"Gonna come?"

"Trying not to... Ah, want you to go first. Come all over my cock. Want to feel it. Oh, _fuck..._ "

"You should come if you have to..."

It was a mean thing to say. Of course Thor wasn't going to come first. Somehow, he'd make sure Loki did, no matter what. It was a matter of pride.

Hooking one arm a little tighter, Loki managed to let go with the other and bring it down between them to tug at his neglected cock.

"No..." Thor said. "No, you wanted to..."

"Ssh... Make me come, Thor. Fuck me nice and hard and deep until we come together."

Thor lunged for his lips, almost dislodging Loki's arm, and hoisted him further up the wall to pound into his body, letting little grunts out into his mouth.

Maybe Loki was a little pleased that he felt the first spurt of Thor's come a second before he cried out himself, nearly slamming his head into the wall with the force of it. It probably didn't count as Thor coming first, but it would do for once.

And then he was being carried back to the bed - Thor's softened cock slipping out of him, much to his annoyance - and being laid down upon it.

"Mmm. A wonderful celebration of our first year, Thor."

"You don't think we're finished do you?"

"Of course not. I just wanted to see the panicked look on your face at the thought."

Thor laughed, that big, full body laugh of his.

"Well, then I must pay you back for such cruelty. What shall I do to you?"

"For the moment, just kiss me."

"That I can do."

Had there really been a time when he hadn't known this sensation? Had he really once not known the taste of Thor's mouth, the press of his tongue, the way he gave and gave and _gave_ so readily?

That first kiss on their wedding day. That had been the moment he'd reconsidered killing Thor. The first thing he thought he might want to experience a few more times before he couldn't anymore. And now...

Now he could have this, all of it, Thor's kisses and his thoughts, his embraces and his support, his body and his mind, everything for the rest of his life.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Oh. Nothing important. Just how glad I am that certain choices were made."

"I think I know what you mean."

"Why, what were you thinking about?"

"Oh, nothing important. Just considering where I ought to kiss next..."

He rolled on top, his lips brushing against Loki's jaw and neck, moving rapidly south, pausing over his nipples to suckle on each one in turn before moving again. But no, not yet, not yet...

"Thor!"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

Thor grinned up at him and placed a soft kiss to his chest, just above his heart.

"I love you too, tyrant."

"All right. Good. You may continue."

Thor's laughter echoed around the room. Loki lay back, thinking how lucky he was getting to hear that sound for the rest of his life.

Ooh... And getting to feel that...

"Mmm, Thor... Don't stop..."

It was going to be a long night.

A long, wonderful night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, gosh, you guys...
> 
> Thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. At time of writing, this is actually my most popular fic in terms of kudos so thank you all so much for that and for your encouraging comments along the way.
> 
> I am currently writing something new, another human AU long-fic, but I have no idea when it will be ready. I'm about eight chapters in and the plot is only just starting to flow and move. It's got some things about it that I like so I'll wrestle it into submission somehow, but it might take a little time.
> 
> There might be some little PWP things before it's ready, depending on how frustrated I get with it.
> 
> Thanks once again for reading this. Your support means so much to me.


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